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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,672
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10 7,102 hugs
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#1
I think today's session was good? I didn't get stuck freeze. We talked about our mother/daughter roles and how it's like my trauma with my siblings is triggering my issues I'm having with her children. I also fear favoritism. She says there is no competition for her heart. That I have my own space. She also told me she doesn't rank her feelings and multiple can coexist at once like her joy for her pregnancy and the sorrow for my griefs and losses. We also cried at the realization that because I'll never have children, in old age, there will be no one to care for me or even visit me. I don't remember the rest of the session, but that was the main gist.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, NP_Complete, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,481
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#2
That's sounds good to me Scarlett.
__________________ True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
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#3
Thanks for the new thread, scarlet. Sorry im such a weenie about things
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ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,672
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#4
It's okay, Una. I understand. The title was a little much (fit how I felt when I started it). And the thread needed a refresh.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica Last edited by ScarletPimpernel; Yesterday at 05:38 PM.. |
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unaluna
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unaluna
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,672
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10 7,102 hugs
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#5
Had another session today. Barely remember it. We talked about a dream I had and that became the symbolism for the entire session. We talked about if she had ever had to depend on someone she was in a rupture with. We talked about how hopelessness is just a feeling, not a fact (which kind of feels like she's minimizing it). We also talked a little bit about power: I have the power to destroy her career and she has the power to destroy my life. Not sure how that came up, but it felt a little intense for me. I also know I pulled away from her today, so something must have hurt bad. But otherwise, I don't remember anything else.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
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#6
Hugs, Scarlet. Is it possible that her comment about your power to destroy her career could have been part of what made you pull away? That's definitely an intense statement.
I ask because I know that with Dr. T, when he reminds me I'm part of his job and only his professional life, that can be really difficult for me. Also, there's an implied imbalance there: that she could destroy your life, but, in what she said, you'd be destroying her career. Which is part of her life, but not all of it. And I'd also feel like "hopelessness is a feeling, not a fact" is minimizing. Even if she didn't mean it that way. |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
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#7
To be honest, there's four things upsetting about the "power" statement. 1. What you said, LT. She can destroy my whole life whereas I can only destroy a (big) aspect of hers. 2. I want no such power over anyone not even an enemy. 3. What are the parts of our relationship that could end her career? If she was 100% professional and ethical then I wouldn't have such power. True? I don't have that power over T. 4. I wonder if either "power" keeps her trapped in our relationship.
I truly don't know why I pulled away. Normally, I only do a little bit, but today I literally moved away from her. She got me to calm down and move back. I wish my memory of words worked. Thank you for understanding how I feel about hopelessness being minimized to a feeling. Part of what I think she was saying was that just because I feel hopeless doesn't mean we are hopeless. But it doesn't mean it's not true either. There could be no hope for us. Sometimes, a lot of times, I think I'm being delusional for keep trying. I think she might be delusional too. Or trapped? __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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