Couch 251: The Matrix Recovered

I'm feeling really triggered after today's session with my prescriber. I really want to talk to P right now. I'm feeling upset because he's been the person who helps me hold my trauma, if that makes sense, and I'm about to lose that. I don't want to feel adrift when he's gone.

So sorry, NP.

Once you've had a relationship like that and it's threatened or you know it's gong to end...that's a really hard place to be.

What you’re feeling is valid and important. Losing someone who has held such an essential role in your healing can bring up feelings of being adrift. It’s okay to grieve the change—it’s a testament to how meaningful the relationship has been for you.

Right now, focusing on the present can help ease the feeling of being overwhelmed. Take a few slow breaths. If it helps, remind yourself of something that anchors you—a comforting object, a phrase, or even a memory of a time when you felt supported by P.

Ask yourself: What would P say to me right now if he were here? Sometimes channeling their compassion toward yourself can help soothe those feelings of being untethered.

Though you’re facing this big shift, how can continue to support the work you’ve done with P afterwards? Have you already started looking for another T? Perhaps it would be easier if you had extra support in your corner right now as you transition away from P?

Transitions are hard, but they can also be moments of growth. If you're feeling adrift, remind yourself that you’ve already come so far and have the strength to navigate this new chapter, even when it feels uncertain.

If you’ve ever watched Grey’s: "He is not the sun. You are."

While P has been a significant source of support, the strength, healing, and progress you've achieved is ultimately yours. You are the central figure in your journey, and even with this transition, you/ the sun continues to shine.His role was to help guide and reflect that light back to you.

You are the source of your own growth and resilience. He does not define your capacity to heal.

Personally I think dragging out his leaving has not been kinder for you. A clear date from the start would have been more beneficial. I might be wrong, but hasn’t this been going on since before 2021?

I'm sorry, NP. Hugs if wanted.