Sometimes you have to go back to....

Realise you've moved on..
I have been out of my therapy for 5yrs now after 20yrs of 2x wkly... The ending was sudden and didn't get an ending due to silly covid etc.
I've since retired and live a quite life and have from time to time thoughts on whether I'm missing out not being in my therapy and wondering where I am within myself these days. Yes there's moments whrn I get a bit down, loose believe in myself etc.
Then a couple of weeks ago an old work friend got in touch, myself her a another woman use to sit in our office doing our own therapy sessions back over 5 plus yrs ago. They knew I'd been in long term therapy and were curious about it so we'd sit and share things.
So back to this friend getting in touch, I invited over to mine for lunch. We gad a quick catch-up and then it was like those passing 5yrs hadn't happened, to her at least (this is no way a put down of said wk collegue, just a marker of where I am) she begun sharing all most word for word what she use to share about herself in that office. There had been no movement, no personal insights from her about herself and her personal issues. She's had a few sessions with therapy her husband private ins allowed her..
Once she left my most over powering feeling was, I'm not in that place we use to be in, I had no need to share anything about myself like I once would yrs ago with those women on the office, I felt at peace within myself, sorry she is still in the place she is and hope that one day she finds what she needs for herself.
It's one of those moments you get only after therapy is over, a feeling that something within yourself that was painful has resolved itself through therapy, a reflection needed that alone you're not always certain of. But I knew once my lunch with this old collegue had finished, going back to the place I once was is no longer an option. That me that was in pain and desperately needed to share with others has healed. The sudden awareness of the place I am now felt warming. It's funny huw we need these small moments to reflect on ourselves, where we once we're and where we are now. I live a modest life but am very thsnk for it now. Those 20yrs of solid therapy for me were worth it