[Perna]

Did you ever do/like anything as a child that you've kind of forgotten but which has stuck with you, is a part of you? Kind of like "Puff the Magic Dragon" I guess I'm thinking of:

"A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys."

When I was around 9 or 10, I didn't have friends, was an anxious, solitary child, and I picked my favorite poem of all time and decided that I would try to memorize it (still haven't :-) Robert Louis Stevenson's, "The Land of Counterpane" from A Child's Garden of Verses.



I wasn't a sickly child, rarely got sick, but when we were sick, we sort of had this experience (or I wish we did?) and I think I identified with the lonely, bored, no-energy feel of the poem? My stepmother would make "orange ice" and other special foods and if she had to go out, she'd bring back a new toy or little surprise. Sometimes I'd be put in the parents larger bed at the top of the house. I was insulated by the illness and from my day-to-day world where I was expected to perform.

My father was in the Navy and my next youngest brother and I use to (when I was 6 and 7) play with his Army men so maybe I was longing for that "simpler" time too. We had moved after a stable period in my life and maybe I was looking back and wishing. . .

Looking back now, I wonder what part of me uses the remembered stable period or the ability to use the poem to comfort or whatever the heck. I wonder why I think of it all now. I think I'm entering into a transition period.

[MissCharlotte]

Perna,

I loved that poem as a child and identified with it as well. I was sick a lot and home alone, and spent many hours reading.



The imagery in the verse is vivid and brings back many memories. I'll have to think about what other "rituals" I engaged in. My imaginary friends come to mind--there were two of them, both girls. I spoke to them and they spoke to me. Sheesh. Gues what? One of them was "sister."!!!

[MyBestKids2]

Me and a friend would chant the following with hands interlocking and swinging (I think..)

Say, Say my playmate
Come out and play with me
and bring your dollies 3
climb up my apple tree
slide down my rain barrel
into my cellar door
and we'll be jolly friends
forever more - more - more !

Say, say my playmate,
I cannot play with you.
My dolly has the flu,
Boohoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.
Ain't got no rain barrel,
Ain't got no cellar door.
But we'll be jolly friends,
Forever more, more, more!

[Mouse_]

Perna, Reading this post it reminded me of what you told once of the relationship you had with your mother, when she was unwell in bed a lot of the time is about the only experience you had of her wasn't it?? Or am I mistaken? I dont know why that verse brought that to mind, perhaps if you did mention that once this verse is a about how you remember your mother?

[Perna]

Oh, wow, I don't know, had never thought of that. I think I was too young to understand though, to imagine that ("sickness")and later put it together. I guess I'm a little surprised I don't have any troubles with sleep, if my mother was in bed a lot (probably toward the end). I don't have any problems in that area. The only symptoms I know she had was grand mal seizures and, when she got home from the hospital (she walked into the house so wasn't "in bed" then), was aphasia and I get my words hopelessly tangled when I'm anxious or excited.

[scott88keys]

By the way, a new book was published last summer of Puff the Magic Dragon. It's the words of the song illustrated and it comes with a cd with Peter (Peter, Paul and Mary) sings the song with his grown up daughter. The artwork is absolutely amazing and you know how the song has such a sad ending? Read the book and the pictures portray a happier ending. I know I'm off track, but Perna, when you mentioned that song, I thought of this.

Scott

[Perna]

Yes, I remember that book I think. I dislike sad endings but always get into conflict with myself when I experience/read a sad ending as it is not like one can unhear it?

The most upsetting book I've ever read in my life is I Am The Cheese by Robert Cormier. It's about therapy and trusting one's therapist. I still debate with myself whether I would have rather not read that book if I were given the choice (or, actually, if I could zap the book out of existance completely so it didn't exist to be read) or whether the horrible experience was "better" to have.

i think i might have had a tad of OCD.. my rituals were elaborate at times... like each and every stuffed toy had to lined up just right in "their" spot and each one had to have a kiss goodnight. Thank god i didn't own a lot of them!

This is most likely weird, embarrassing, and stupid, but hey-- when I have I stopped myself? I've told T about this one. It just shows the anxiety that was brewing when I was a child.

There was a "song" that I made up that I would have to sing with my mother when I would go to bed. The lyrics were:

Both venetian blinds are closed,
Both windows are closed.
It's not gonna rain, snow, thunder or lightning.
Talk to Daddy-- don't stop.
Settle down, watch TV...
Go to bed later.

(It was a lot snappier than it seems on paper-- it had a rhythm to it, roflmao).

This had to be sung every single night before bed. I was scared of severe weather and I was scared of my parents going to bed too early. I liked to make sure that I would fall asleep and they would be up for a long time afterwards.

[Junerain]

I read all Madeliene L'engle's books and they deeply affected me....that one could exist outside of time as we know it, that we could leave people behind...whether we wanted to or not.....

[Perna]

Yes, I've read all of Madeleine L'Engle's books too. I went to see her speak 25 or so years ago down in Washington, D.C. at the Folger, Shakespeare Theatre, and we could bring one book to have her sign and it was heck deciding on which one :-)

Pinksoil, I don't think being afraid of weather is strange at all. My nephew (now in his late 40's with two boys of his own) was afraid "it's going to get in!" and my brother, the youngest of my three brothers, took out all his childhood frustrations of being youngest boy I guess and use to torment the nieces and nephews. It got so bad my stepsister had to get the kids to rename my brother "Snake" :-) and we all threatened what we were going to do to his kids when he had some. He moved to Hawaii though, far far away from us