How does your T let you know when the session time is up? Well, my T uses a timer. I don't remember seeing it, although I may have. I think it's blue, but I'm not sure if I actually saw it or dreamt that in one of my nightmares. (LOL)

It dings when time is up (duh, right?). However, that is not always the case. Sometimes, if we've started ten minutes late, then I leave ten minutes after the ding, LOL. I think I told him that I did not like the timer one time when I was a bit angry. I actually think I told him I despised it and that I've had visions of beating it with a club outside on the sidewalk. I've already gotten the feeling that a lot of people here at PC "discourage" the timer, well, including myself, LOL.

I'm getting along so well with my T, though, the timer has become something that doesn't bother me (totally) and/or something that is not big enough for me to bring up. Okay, call me chicken if you'd like. But, at least I'm cooked well done.
DING!

Well when it's just about time to go I can tell by the way she repositions in the chair and flips her notes back to the first page. Usually have a minute for last moment thoughts and comments. It flows pretty well to an end, it's never just abrupt, which I like.
I think if she used a time I'd be way anxious.

My T would kind of lead into it like "We have about 10 minutes left." Not that I cared.

Then she would say something like "Time's up for today" or "We have to stop for today," or "Let's pick that up next time."

Obviously not a real effective method for me, because I continued to sit until she gets mad at me and then throws me out.

Personally I think that T should continue until I am done..... DING

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Soliaree said:
Okay, call me chicken if you'd like. But, at least I'm cooked well done.
DING!

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DING

LOL...you know how I feel about this timer......
Instructions:
Pick up Timer
Aim at T
Extend arm back
Move arm forward
Release Timer

DONG ......hit square in the forhead

Where'd you get that chicken?

[gimmeice]

Usually my T just says well thats all the time we have for this week, I don't think I would like a timer.

[onlymedid]

No timer with my T. She just looks up at her clock that is behind me on the wall and shifts in her chair. Then she says, "Times up for this week, so we can talk about that next time"
I would hate having a timer!!

[MissCharlotte]

My T says, "Miss, we have to stop." He always says my name and it's a routine I have come to appreciate believe it or not. I think because it feels personal.

That's it! Then I usually take a minute or so to collect myself and beat it!

I don't think I could handle a timer.

[skeksi]

I would be startled beyond belief if T had a timer! I'd probably never go back. Usually he shifts towards his desk, takes a deep breath, and says something about the session, like I did a good job or it was a hard session. He fills out my paperwork, giving me a few moments to collect myself, and we're done.

[SingDanceRunLife]

T will say one of the following (or a variation of them):

"We need to get out of here now."
"I'll let you go."
"Looks like our time's up."
"Do you have anything else you want to say before we go?"

I would not do well with a timer! Especially if it actually just cut things off. With my T, it's not uncommon to go over our hour...We never just end, we always wrap things up first.

[SystemAurora]

Mine has lots of clocks... I get really anxious if I don't have a clock, because I don't want to impose on my T... I'm bad at judging social signs so I can never tell when she's ready to go. I like the clock because I know how much time I have left to talk and can pace myself if I have a lot of issues to bring up.

It varies. Sometimes he'll announce, "I'm going to look at my watch now" - and then he looks at his watch and tells me how much time we have left. Today I felt anxious and kept looking at the clock and when there were a few minutes left he said "We need to be done at 4 - how much time do we have left?"

Then he'll ask how I want to end the session. Today I told him I wanted to go and sit behind his chair and just hang out with him while he saw other clients. He laughed. Usually, he comes and sits with me on the couch and holds my hands in his for a minute. Today he held my hands and apologized for something he said about a month ago that had been eating at me and that I finally told him about today.

Have I mentioned that I love him?

[jbug]

I usually am the one ending the session. She has clocks everywhere in her office and where I sit there is one in my direct line of vision. I see that 45 minutes is almost done so I start to wiggle in my seat, finish my soda and stand up. Lately I just leave the soda can there but now that I don't have to use my crutches all the time I can carry my own can.

Jbug

[sunrise]

Mine often says, "I need to check on who's waiting," and he opens the door to the waiting room and says he'll be out in a few minutes. Then he comes back to me and I know we need to wrap up. Or sometimes he says "Should we look at the calendar?" and he goes to his desk and gets the calendar so we can schedule a session for next time. It's all pretty seamless and not too abrupt.

Soliaree, I think the Dinging timer is kind of rude. Like you're a 3 minute egg that has to cook an exact amount of time. You're more than an egg, you're a human being! I can imagine that Ding would be very disruptive and jarring. I wonder why your T can't learn to manage his time better without a timer? It might be worth asking why he needs a timer and can't just look at a clock? Or if he really needs an alarm to remind him that your session is up, he could use the vibrating cell phone in his pocket as someone here already mentioned. The fact that he doesn't use one of these more subtle methods says to me that his use of the Dinging timer is very deliberate and serves some need of his--perhaps an expression of power over his clients. I'm not sure, but I think it is saying something about him. Would he allow you to explore this with him? Maybe if you understood the why behind the timer (rather than a more gentle method), it would make it easier to tolerate for you.

Have you ever tried asking him not to use it in your sessions?

My T normally has an alarm that goes off-- it sort of sounds like a fire alarm. When this happens I jump up and immediately evacuate the office.

Ok, no. We usually go about 15 minutes over or so and he really doesn't have to say anything; I can sense the end of a session. Sometimes if I am in really deep with something he'll tell me, "We have about 15 minutes left." He'll usually do something at the very end that I can "carry" out the door with me or have stick with me for a certain period of time-- he has taken my hand, said something really funny that is a joke between us, etc. Then he always says, "See you on (insert day of next appointment)."

You know how I feel about that timer your T has. I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous. That %#@&amp;#! would get thrown across the room if it was in my therapy.

Nothing.. he has nothing. There is a small clock which is off to the side behind me which he can clearly watch without being extreme about it. He generally says something like "we'll have to end on this point..." and then he continues on and runs overtime by 5 or 10 minutes anyway

he will let it run a bit longer if it's something really deep we are into.. or if i'm upset... or if no one is waiting... but there is almost always someone waiting (obviously there to talk about renovations as i KNOW i am his only client). He once just kept on talking with me.. i was the last of the day... and i apologized.. he said "i've got nowhere i need to be."

week before last he ran over by a half an hour...

a timer would freak me out altogether... i won't even let him keep his deskclock in my line of sight.. i'd never get anywhere.. the timer would cause complete seize up

i am so sorry he does that soli... ask him for a cup of water someday, tell him the air is really dry, complain about the ventilation.. then swipe the %#@&#! thing. OR rewind it! ha!

i know....

bring your own timer!!! set it to 50 minutes and put it right in front of him

[Razzleberry]

Actually I'm the one glancing at the clock all the time since my appointments are on my lunch hour!

[winterbaby]

A timer? What are you, a boiled egg? No way. Tell him to get rid of that thing. Geez, a normal clock would do wouldn't it? Sorry to be so blunt. Mine used to say "we have to stop now" and that was fine with me, a gentler sort of push out the door.

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What are you, a boiled egg?

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No, I'm a chicken, LOL. I'd only get 20 minutes if I was a boiled egg. T usually says, "Well, I have to let you go," at the end of sessions in addition to the Ding.

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a gentler sort of push out the door.

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Yeah, I think mine prefers to catapault me out the door, LOL. I still think the world of my T, warts ( = timer) and all.

[sunrise]

Soliaree, maybe it's a test of if you are able to set boundaries. Maybe as soon as you ask T to stop using the Dinger with you, he will do it and will be proud you set a boundary. Have you asked him not to use it?

My T sometimes asks me, "what can I do to make it safe for you?" If your T asks that, you could ask him not to use the dinger.

I noticed that Doc John has written an article on the "Ding" situation, and he does not approve:
Ding! Time's Up!

Maybe this would be a good article to print out and take to your T.

[splitimage]

A timer would drive me absolutely nuts. My T has clocks all over her office, so I can kind of keep track of time and pace myself. if I'm oblivious, she just closes her notebook and confirms my appointments at the same time next week. We usually wrap up with a couple of minutes of social chit chat.

--splitimage