[SingDanceRunLife]

I haven't posted about T in awhile, so I thought that I would give an update.

I now have a regular time as of about a month ago. It's really nice because now I know that I'm guaranteed a spot every week instead of being squeezed in wherever there happens to be room. The only time with my spot is that it's right after school on Mondays, and right before choir...So instead of having time to chill before choir like I used to, I have to go to T.

Anyway...We've spent a lot of time with my OCD. In my T's opinion, the depression that I was experiencing came from my OCD/anxiety, and so she focused on the OCD instead. We started with my hand washing ritual...I had challenges each week to wash my hands less and less, and at first, it was really hard...Even just thinking about washing my hands less than 3 times made me anxious. Now though, about 4 months later, I have no problems with washing them just once unless I'm having a bad day, then sometimes I'll want to wash twice.

My session today:

Moved on to another OCD ritual...Silverware placement when I do the dishes. I count the silverware, and it all goes in certain places in the dishwasher and all that...And so we devised a ladder of anxiety about different ways of doing that, and that's what we're going to be working on next. That was basically the entire session...And although it was insanely anxiety provoking (I told T that I was getting anxious just talking about the stuff, so she asked where my level was on a scale from 1 to 10, and I told her about a 7), it was good.

T also said that we can now take a break with the OCD stuff for awhile and talk about whatever I want because I've made so much progress...And, I'm a junior in high school with the year wrapping up pretty soon, and she knows that I've had some friend drama...So, that's good. I was getting kind of tired of just talking about the OCD all the time and having like 5 or 10 minutes of other talk per session, but I couldn't tell T because I hate being that upfront.

And now...Onto support for me.

I don't get to see T for 2 weeks! Next Monday I'm going on a field trip to Darien Lake with my physics class, and we're not getting back until about 7 (T is at 3:30)...And, unless someone cancels, there isn't another time I could go.

I hate when I have to miss a session and go 2 weeks before seeing T again.

And...To make matters worse...My T is going on vacation for 2 weeks, and she'll be gone June 2 and June 9. That means that after May 26 (which by the way is Memorial Day but she's working on because of her vacation), I won't see her again until June 16! That's 3 weeks without T! How am I supposed to do that?

(((Everyone))) and thanks for reading this.

[Mouse_]

((Singdancerunlife))

[pachyderm]

Hold on!

[mountainstream]

((((((SingDanceRunLife))))))

[SingDanceRunLife]

Thanks for the hugs guys.

Two weeks, I can do. I've done it before, and while I really don't like it, I can do it...Three weeks though? I don't know about that. I already feel like there's enough disconnect with two, you know? And then, what if something comes up? This is my first time with T going on vacation, so I have no idea how it works...

[SingDanceRunLife]

This is gonna be a long week!

I need my T right now. There's too much going on, too many emotions running through me...And I don't see her until Monday.

[lauren_helene]

Is there a T convention or something? It seems they all go away around the same time each year...doesn't it?

[SingDanceRunLife]

This is my first time...So I don't know.