 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jun 22, 2008, 12:16 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Don't let stress and anxiety kill you - let a therapist help.
|
|
#2
Jun 22, 2008, 01:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Q. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. NONE. You have to change your own lightbulb while T watches and nods approvingly from the sidelines.
__________________
 [/url] |
|
#3
Jun 22, 2008, 01:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Q. A psychiatrist asked her multiple personality patient, “So, do you feel like you’re cured.”
A. He replied, “Absolutely. We’ve never felt better.”
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
|
#4
Jun 22, 2008, 01:50 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Secretary to Psychologist: "Doctor, there is a patient here who thinks he is invisible."
Psychologist: "Tell him I can't see him right now." |
|
#5
Jun 22, 2008, 01:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
During a session, a psychotherapist says to his client:
"Today we're going to try and analyze your Freudian slips. See, a Freudian slip is when you want to say something but you make a funny mistake and say something slightly different. The analysis of such a mistake can lead to some emotions you're in conflict with, some bad memories from your childhood, and so on. Have you made any such funny mistakes lately?" The client thinks a moment, and responds: "You know Doc, yeah. I made a funny mistake while talking to my mother. I was eating dinner with her and I wanted her to pass the salad, but instead I said: 'You stupid b*t*h, you ruined my life, I hate you.'" |
|
#6
Jun 22, 2008, 01:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"
__________________
Chris The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it. Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.) |
|
#7
Jun 22, 2008, 02:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50 and says good bye. The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
|
#8
Jun 22, 2008, 03:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
OH %#@&#!, I needed the laugh today!!! Thanks guys
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
|
#9
Jun 22, 2008, 04:03 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
i am SO printing this freudian slip on off for my T... omg.. wiping away tears.. hahahahaha
|
|
#10
Jun 22, 2008, 04:16 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If you liked the freud joke how about this one:
How can anybody possibly believe in the collective unconscious? It’s easy - if you’re Jung at heart.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
|
#11
Jun 22, 2008, 04:40 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
<font color="purple">theese are great </font> |
|
#12
Jun 22, 2008, 05:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Q: How many shrinks does it take to change a light-bulb ?
A: Only 1, but the bulb has to want to change !!!! |
|
#13
Jun 22, 2008, 05:43 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
PsyChris said: To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!" </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> There's another, similar joke I like with the punch line, "Fifty dollars??? I don't even know you!" What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together? In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
|
#14
Jun 22, 2008, 05:58 PM
|
|||
|
|||
 great great great great.  
__________________
just like everybody trying to make some sense on how I got to be in a place in my life that hurts,yes emotsional pain. and need help, understanding, empathy, kindness. AND NO JUDGRMENT |
|
#15
Jun 22, 2008, 09:26 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
MissCharlotte said: Q. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? A. NONE. You have to change your own lightbulb while T watches and nods approvingly from the sidelines. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> ...And ask you how you felt about the process....
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#16
Jun 22, 2008, 09:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office...completely naked..and wrapped from head to toe in saran wrap.
He says "Doctor! Something is wrong with me! Can you help me?" Doctors says "Well, clearly, I can see you're nuts." |
|
#17
Jun 22, 2008, 09:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
ROFL - the one about the elderly couple and the sex therapist completely cracked me up.
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
|
|
#18
Jun 24, 2008, 03:04 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
chaotic13 said: How can anybody possibly believe in the collective unconscious? It’s easy - if you’re Jung at heart. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Lily
__________________
"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us." -- Flora Edwards |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| joke | General Social Chat | |||
| joke | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
| joke | General Social Chat | |||
| joke | General Social Chat | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
