[Shaymus]

So my own therapist said she thought it would be helpful if i went to group therapy for social anxiety. Ive heard it before. I decided i was so sick of it all id try it hoping to change something. So ive been going for over two months now. Its every week for 12 weeks. In the first group one of the two therapists running it said there was an "outing" on the last group. This freaked me out considerably. I dont want to go places by myself(which is easier for me) being a part of a big obnoxious group as we all walk through the door. Yikes, no way. So i voiced this concern and was told it wasnt mandatory to go to the outing and that it would be okie by one of the two therapist. So tonight they brought it up again and i said i probably wasnt going. The other therapist said that i "had" too. Excuse me? I refused and i think i even in response to her trying to bully me in to something said i promise i wont be going. She started to say if you arent going to the outing then you might as well not....and didnt end it. I can see where she was going though. You might as well not even come to the rest. Im very upset over this. If it was such a big deal they should have been honest and told us from the start that the outing was mandatory. Do i go back next week and either complain or pretend it never happened or do i quit? Im really uncomfortable with this. It makes me so angry though, i mean sheesh i went for the last 2 months+!! Thats a lot of stress for me to do and then she dismisses it with a flick of her hand like it was nothing. I wish i would have left after week 1 like i wanted to but talked myself out of. I have no idea how i should handle this, any ideas?

[chaotic13]

Can you talk with your T about what happened? Maybe this T was trying to avoid other group members from following your lead and bailing out too. If the one therapist said it wasn't mandatory then ... I would work consider it strongly recommended but not mandatory. If you are not yet ready to attend this outing with the big obnoxious group, then don't. If you and your T think this particular group is good for you, then I would keep going. Just because you took a pass on this outing doesn't mean you might not feel comfortable later to attend another one.

[smiley1984]

you are an adult, and you don't live in a prison, you can do what you want

[sunrise]

I wonder why therapist #1 didn't say "I told her she didn't have to go" when therapist #2 was being such a butthead? Can you go next time, and speak with therapist #1 and ask her to clarify the policy on outing attendance, reminding her that she told you it was not mandatory? If she again repeats that, I think you're fine, and if therapist #2 continues to hassle you, just refer her to therapist #1. I can see how this is stressful for you.

[Shaymus]

Ironically we had talked earlier in the group about being assertive. I feel i was assertive though. I stood my ground and definitely didnt become aggressive or totally passive. She just used a louder voice and talked over me(which felt aggressive to me). I wrote the first post when i got home and was still "dialed up" and really upset. I still am upset but now it feels more irritated than the angry panicky confusion of yesterday. I dont see my therapist again until the day after the next group so i think im going to go and try and be assertive. If worse comes to worst i can always just walk out and feel confident i handled it to the best of my ability. I really wanted to make it to all of them though and was working on talking myself into going on the outing but i doubt im rational enough now to go even if i could cause im more interesting in spiting the t haha.

[sarahlilianne]

Oh Boy! that reminds me of a therapist I had when I did DBT in a group setting... I think I can relate to the way you're feeling right now! If the group therapy helps you, I would continue going and just skip the outing. You're your own man Shaymus and You know how you are feeling about going to the outing. Good Luck with the rest of the session
Lily