Dropping your Pdoc

My Pdoc and I correspond via email. I sent him a message saying that I would no longer be taking any meds as we just didn't seem to be winning with any combination and friends had commented that I was worse since I started Medication than I was before.

His response was very hurtful, quote " glad I could help, all the best".. that's it, the entire message. It feels like a slap in the face, all I was to him was a source of income.

How do Pdocs / patient relationships normally end?

Sounds like... you were feeling hurt with him:

> I sent him a message saying that I would no longer be taking any meds as we just didn't seem to be winning with any combination and friends had commented that I was worse since I started Medication than I was before.

I think most clinicians would feel a little slapped in the face with 'worse with what you have done for me than before' - even if true.

And his response to that... Left you feeling slapped in the face as well.

Perhaps...

I've had a variety of different endings. But I have had a few that were along the lines of:

Sniff. Well... It isn't like I don't have other people who appreciate my time.

I'm not saying that you were unappreciative of what he had done for you... But maybe that wasn't conveyed so well... In situations like this... I usually invest in a card and write a nice message about how I appreciate their time and efforts in trying to help me and it was helpful to know that someone cared...

Perhaps...

I quit meds after moving away from my pdoc. I liked him a lot but didn't really have an emotional attachment to him. Taking meds is always our decision to make. Sometimes it's good to go back to square one and see what we are like without meds.

I'm wondering what you wish he had replied?
It sounds like maybe you wanted him to be concerned and try to talk you out of not taking meds, maybe? But you stated to him that was what you are going to do.

But his response to what you said,"I'm glad I could help" also sounds defensive, as one might feel if they were being fired for failure.

I've had a couple pdocs drop me.

But anyway.

Please keep in mind that anyone who is responding to your post is doing so without knowing the nature of your relationship with your pdoc. We don't know if you have been with him for 6 months of 10 years. We don't know if he was like a therapist to you, or just a doctor. We don't know if you hated him, or loved him. So I will do my best to respond with what I think...

I'm just wondering what you would have wanted him to say because even the title of your post indicates that you "dropped" him. Also, you dropped him by email. Doctors and therapists don't normally see email as the most personal and detailed way to correspond. Normally, they would rather leave serious topics for the phone, or face-to-face contact.

I don't think you were just a "source of income" to your pdoc. You were a patient, in his care, to whom he supplied medication. Assuming that you do not go to your pdoc for therapy, when you no longer want medication, he is no longer under any obligation to treat you.

Maybe you would feel better if you told him that although you don't want to take medication right now, you would like for him to be available to be your doc again, should you want to be further assessed for any alternative meds.

Remember, docs and Ts are always looking for us to tell them what you need. It looks like you told your pdoc you don't need the meds anymore.

I thought his response was cordial and appropriate. In contrast, your email seemed kinda harsh! It's easy to miscommunicate by email.

I think your termination of him might have been better done in person or by phone. That allows you to connect better and end things the way you want them to end (sounds like you were seekly more from him than just a polite email response and you felt dissatisfied when you didn't get something more).

If it were me, I wouldn't have terminated at all. I would have kept him in reserve for if I decided I needed pharmaceutical help again in the future. Just like with my family doc. My health is pretty good, so I may not see my doc for quite a few months. But she is always there when I do have a concern and need to get an appointment. I don't need to terminate with her just because I don't plan to see her regularly.

Hey Wishmouse,

Your relationship with your Pdoc is a professional one. It is very common for professional relationships to end that way. You both shake hands and go on your way.

He is able to provide medication therapy and his post-grad training (if any). Beyond that he can't help you in the professional sense.

Also, many people get e-mails on their phones now and those short responses don't seem short in the context of the size of a phone.

More importantly, now that you have left your Pdoc. What are your plans for therapy?

Thanks to everybody for your response, helps a lot to get things straight.

What was I hoping for from my Pdoc? Maybe something a little more personal in his response. And now that I think about it, probably a "you are being rash, stop and re-think" kind of message. Maybe I am beening too harsh on him.