[MINIME]

November is coming up which is a huge trigger month for me because it was when I was kidnapped and yucky stuff happened to me when I was 9. I hate because a lot. I have been medicated by professionals or self medicated by myself for pretty much every November since I was 18. I cant talk about what happened to me in therapy yet I cant even do EMDR on it. I dont want to work on it I just am not ready. So I asked my therapists to help me make a plan hoping it would include medication to get me through the month. My regular therapist always is concerned when I ask for meds. She wants me to allow feelings to come and process them.:Ponder: When I am on meds I have no feelings. Plus I cant medicate myself for life and I cant do emdr on meds..at least the meds i want. SO she is developing a plan and I dont know what is all involved yet. She said something about taking back November and making it a beautiful month for me. She promised that i would not do any work on the kidnapping. She said if I really want meds then she will video tape our sessions and play them back for me when I am off. She is a jokester...I get loopy on meds that need to stop the yuckiness. She was joking because when I get loopy I say stuff like I love you...your my best friend...and one time before she was my T I hugged the meds secretary for three minutes. I am not a big hugger at all. So that would be embarrassing. I am curious to what her plan is but also a bit scared?

[Rapunzel]

Trust your T. You deserve to take back that month and make it beautiful. It is a part of your life every year, and shouldn't have to be about trauma every time.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

Trust your T. You deserve to take back that month and make it beautiful. It is a part of your life every year, and shouldn't have to be about trauma every time.

agreed. best to you on this!!!!

[Sannah]

I think the T has a great idea!

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((((((MINIME))))))))))))))))))))))

I love what your T said:

Originally Posted by MINIME

She said something about taking back November and making it a beautiful month for me.

You did not deserve what happened to you and
you do not deserve to have 1 month of every year ruined.

Your T is right you should to 'take back' november.

Let your T help you do this.....I agree with everyone, trust your T.

[MINIME]

OK guys. I will trust her. I do trust her. Both of my T's are awesome. Its weird. I thought she would argue with me about not working on the "november trauma" . I want the meds though. I am scared to go with out. I am afraid of flashbacks and stuff. Hopefull her plan has some idea about how to deal with those. I have them now but im scared in Novemeber it will be big. Im lucky to have my therapists I do. Im scared though. I may be on psych central alot....