oh my god, I'm back to the bad, overwhelmed place.

T is out of town.

new T helped a little last night

I don't know what steps to take to help myself and I don't know where to post. if anywhere! probably pc isn't the answer.

but what IS the answer?

Does anyone know?

[splitimage]

(((Earthmama))))

I'm sorry that you feel like you're back in a bad overwhelming place. I know how hard and scary that is.

But remember to breath, and that you only have to take it one day at a time, or one minute at a time, and that you can get through this.

You're doing tough therapy, but you'll get through it, and always remember life can and does get better.

---splitimage

[Mouse_]

Originally Posted by earthmama

oh my god, I'm back to the bad, overwhelmed place.

T is out of town.

new T helped a little last night

I don't know what steps to take to help myself and I don't know where to post. if anywhere! probably pc isn't the answer.

but what IS the answer?

Does anyone know?

Quit looking for an answer....accept your in a bad place and know this too will pass...if your still in AA perhaps a meeting may help ground you?

[Sannah]

Can you comfort your inner child?

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((((((((((earthmama)))))))))))))))))))))))

keep reaching out for support......here and IRL.

sending and hoping you're ok.
ktgirl

[MissCharlotte]

I like the idea of comforting your inner child.

Remember last week when you took a hot shower and curled up with your two children and watched a movie together? Can you do that for yourself?

Take care of you. Breathe.

(((((Earth))))),
This is your home, so post here I'm so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed! I know it feels like a roller coaster at times, doesn't it? We're here with you. I'm here

Another victim of a T vacation, huh? T WILL be back (**Hugs**). He does love you. Until then, rely on us and your family. I wish there was something I could do to help. My wisdom runs thin at the moment. But, I'm here for you TAKE CARE OF YOU!

I took my three boys to hear a storyteller tonight. It was supposed to be about 90 minutes away, but it took us THREE HOURS to get there - partly because of traffic, and partly because of me and my crazy mapquest directions. It got to the point where it was just funny - I mean we were in RURAL GEORGIA, big time, totally lost. I had to laugh. We did manage to find it, and get there just in time for the first story.

My autistic 8 year old LOVED IT SO MUCH. He and my six year old were just enthralled and joyful. My 11 year old liked it too, but my two little ones were just amazed. My 8 y/o has SO few moments of pure joy...life is hard for him...it was so, so wonderful to see him enjoying it so much. We met the storyteller (Odds Bodkins) on the way out, and he signed a CD we bought. We listened to it on the way home. My 8 y/o was so peaceful and happy, and it made me feel so peaceful and happy.

It reminded me of what T said, and of what I mentioned in another thread a minute ago - those moments of joy are also part of my experience. The waterfall last week, the night cuddling in bed with my little ones watching a movie, the concert I went to, the storyteller tonight. That's a lot more fun than I usually have scheduled, actually - and it's so weird that it's right in the middle of me also feeling the worst I've probably ever felt. It's almost like the universe is trying to balance things out for me a little bit. There is the pain - to the point where I literally think I can't go on - and then all of a sudden there are these moments of joy.

Sigh. I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess this is just life - messy and painful and unpredictible and joyful too. It sure is hard sometimes, you know?

Just having my 8 y/o have that happiness and peace tonight means SO much to me.

As we were driving home, he said out of nowhere, "you know, mom, courage is something that starts in your soul and ends up in your heart". Where did that come from? I love his little poetic thoughts.

It's so bittersweet, feeling so much pain, and then being surprised by joy.

I can feel the pain there, still....but I am going to try to hang on to this too. To try to have them both. To somehow muster up the courage to keep going. It feels like too much right now so much of the time...but maybe I really will make it through this.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by earthmama

It's so bittersweet, feeling so much pain, and then being surprised by joy.

I can feel the pain there, still....but I am going to try to hang on to this too. To try to have them both. To somehow muster up the courage to keep going. It feels like too much right now so much of the time...but maybe I really will make it through this.

((((((((((((((((((EM))))))))))))))))))))))

You'll make it through this.

(((Earth))),
It's so wonderful to hear your 'moments of joy' stories! I love the way you put it, that the universe is trying to balance things out for you I often wonder if it is during these times that I most appreciate the good times because when you are in pain those moments of joy mean SOOO much! That happened to me this summer, I was in massive pain and I took my daughter to a beach two hours away. We sat on the beach for a bit, went to climb on the huge sand dunes, and also went to see a play about the town. It was the absolute best day I had had in ages!!! The weather was perfect, everthing was perfect, and my D and I had so much fun! This is now "our" place and we go there often. These moments are priceless, aren't they? It was really good to hear your story Thank you for sharing this with us! Love ya'.

[ScaredSad]

The answer is C. The answer is always C.

Ok, a little humor helps me... don't know if it helps you or not. I hope so... otherwise, the above makes me look like an insensitive oaf.

I like your story about spending time with your family. It brought back some good childhood memories for me. Although, ironically enough, the parents weren't even in my story teller memory!

Be well and take care! Thanks for sharing.

[Sannah]

EM, this is so wonderful, you are now "alive".....