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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
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Nov 24, 2008 at 09:15 PM
#1
I have an appointment with a new T tomorrow. There has been a lot of on / off stuff leading up to this appointment - first she cancelled, then I cancelled, then she tried to make a new appointment time and I said I had changed my mind and didn't want T. Somewhere in there I also emailed her asking about her experience with DID, and she replied saying she'd prefer to discuss that face to face.
So anyway, about four weeks after initial contact and on / off stuff I have an appointment with her tomorrow afternoon. BUT, right now I 'do not have DID'. When I made the appointment I thought I did, and was all gung-ho about working on stuff related to that, but now... I am stuck in that place where it is all some horrible mistake. Doesn't help at all that I have been voraciously reading false memory foundation literature over the last few days. I am trying to stop myself, because I know it isn't helping me any. For the last few days I have felt sickeningly dissociated and disconnected from my body. Need to ground. Need to get real. I know she will not believe in DID. Maybe this is all just self protection? *I* have no idea if the DID is real or not. I don't know how to work out what is real and what is lies. But right now it is definitely a lie, and I don't know how to face this T tomorrow. I think the belief is she will just see us as a liar. Liar liar liar. 
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Nov 24, 2008 at 10:00 PM
#2
((((((((((((((((((((((((Luce)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It sounds like you have a lot of fear about seeing T, and being believed. I'm sorry I would be surprised if a therapist did not "believe" in DID....and if she just flat out doesn't, then she is not the therapist for you. You need someone who can accept you, all of you, however you are. But if she does accept DID as a possibility, then it could be an opportunity for growth and healing and understanding. Maybe just go in with an open mind, and chat with her. If she's not "the one", it's okay. And it doesn't make DID any less real (or make you a liar!!!) if SHE doesn't believe in it. Be very gentle with yourself. Good luck....come back and tell us how it goes. 
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 Luce
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Member
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Earth
Posts: 105
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Nov 25, 2008 at 12:02 AM
#3
...............Tired gives Luce a icecream..................
 Good luck but you can do it. I would agree with earthmother go in with an open mind. What ever happens look at it as a learning experience. I will be thinking of you. __________________ Tired12 
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Luce
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,416
16 19 hugs
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Nov 25, 2008 at 01:03 PM
#4
((((((((((((((( luce ))))))))))))))))) Good luck at your appointment.
__________________  Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Earth
Posts: 105
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Nov 25, 2008 at 01:52 PM
#5
Thinking of you today, I hope it works out well.
Take care __________________ Tired12
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