[velcro003]

A recurring theme that has been revealed to me lately is that I do not trust myself at all. I may feel some sort of feeling one day, and the next day be like "Hmmm...I don't know if that is really true. I think I was being overly dramatic" Whenever I am in doubt about ANYTHING, I must go to someone for their opinion/advice/reassurance. I don't know if I've ever made a decision solely on my own. At my aunts house growing up, whenever she'd ask what I wanted to drink, I'd be like "Umm, I don't know. Whatever" I mean I couldn't even pick a drink!

Anyway--this is leading to the real question. Where along the line of child development does one learn to trust their own opinions and feelings? Why on earth can't I? How do I change that? I think that is partially what is inhibiting me in therapy. How can I trust my therapist if I can't trust myself?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by velcro003

A recurring theme that has been revealed to me lately is that I do not trust myself at all. ....Where along the line of child development does one learn to trust their own opinions and feelings? Why on earth can't I? How do I change that? .... How can I trust my therapist if I can't trust myself?

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((((((((((velcro003)))))))))) "What, you too? Thought I was the only one"

for my $0.02, sounds like you are doing well. I hope you can focus on feeling very encouraged about
(a) having learned this about yourself (so many people never do)
(b) being able to "connect dots" to the point where you're wondering about childhood development - good job! This is a great (non stressing & very beneficial) - thing to talk to yr T about. Been there, and learned A LOT.

PS - Trust comes when it comes. For me, almost a year before I could open up at all, and even then not without loud squeaks .... You may find that yr T's help in coming to this insight can be one more little stone in the foundation of trust you two are building.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

I think just having the revelation about yourself is monumental. The next step is working your T to build skills to help with trust, inner strength and decision making. Hang in there it'll come.

Hope this helps!

Hugs from an Angel!

[Lenny]

I think the practice of risk taking is one facet of buidling self trust...and trust in others.

Knowing up front that we will fail from time to time and accepting that failure is a integral part of learning..

I guess that when faced with choices,,we do the best we can in compiling the pros and cons...then make one...

The expereince from those builds a foundation for future ones..

I constantly screw up...

But ain't stopping me...

Lenny

[Sannah]

Were you allowed to make some decisions while you were growing up?

[velcro003]

Hmmm...i have no idea, as I don't remember hardly anything until i am about 11 or 12. I just know I suck at decision making because I don't trust myself to ever be right, or good enough. It sucks cuz today I was telling T how it is still so difficult for me to just open up and talk, and I am getting really frustrated by it. She asked if being in there with her reminds me of anything, but I don't know what on earth could remind me of sitting in a therapist's office trying to think of things to talk about. sigh.

[chapin55]

Originally Posted by velcro003

A recurring theme that has been revealed to me lately is that I do not trust myself at all. I may feel some sort of feeling one day, and the next day be like "Hmmm...I don't know if that is really true. I think I was being overly dramatic" Whenever I am in doubt about ANYTHING, I must go to someone for their opinion/advice/reassurance. I don't know if I've ever made a decision solely on my own. At my aunts house growing up, whenever she'd ask what I wanted to drink, I'd be like "Umm, I don't know. Whatever" I mean I couldn't even pick a drink!

Anyway--this is leading to the real question. Where along the line of child development does one learn to trust their own opinions and feelings? Why on earth can't I? How do I change that? I think that is partially what is inhibiting me in therapy. How can I trust my therapist if I can't trust myself?

You have learned that you cannot be trusted. The problem with "learning" something is that it typically keeps you from "learning" new and contradictory information because you don't give yourself the opportunity to show that you are trustworthy. You must give yourself the chance to be trusted. You can do it. Start small

[ECHOES]

For me it is connected to the big worries of being wrong, looking stupid, being rejected, etc.

I think this is something good to notice and something that will get better as we learn more about ourselves and learn more how to accept all parts of ourselves.

[velcro003]

Oh, its TOTALLY that. But, that sounds so...cliche. Like so what, who isn't afraid of being rejected/looking stupid? And if so, so what? It doesn't get me anywhere. Like shes always like "What are you afraid of?" I can't give her a definitive answer, I'm just like "I don't know...everything. It is a global fear"

[ECHOES]

Yeah, but you don't have to live with "who", you live with you and you want to feel better. Keep talking about this with T and offer those reasons that you know are there. Answering that question will get easier, especially as your honest answers are accepted and validated.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Yeah, but you don't have to live with "who", you live with you and you want to feel better. Keep talking about this with T and offer those reasons that you know are there. Answering that question will get easier, especially as your honest answers are accepted and validated.

Thanks Echoes. I just am VERY frustrated right now. Its almost been a year, and I sometimes feel like I'm in the same spot as a year ago. It makes me sad and mad, and I don't know how I'm going to magically come up with an answer of what I'm afraid of. I just know I am a wimp, and can't handle new things/change/risk.