[phoenix7]

Do you think there is a time when you have to say, this is as good as it will ever get and give up on therapy? If you keep ending up at the same point ..... maybe this is as good as it gets and you just have to accept that and stop wasting both your T's and your time.

[selfy]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!

and i quote.

no. never give up!

[phoenix7]

hey who put that on the end of my thread! drat emoticons are taking over the world! -

havnt fallen down- maybe sat down for a think - just wondering if I am wastng my T and my time on somthing that cant be "fixed" - I am trying to be reality based on this - my old T used to say 'it is what it is" maybe this just is what it is - maybe I just have trouble accepting that and need a reality check. - my T said at our last session - "I just have to realise that I cant help everyone" hmmm a hint? got me thinking - maybe this is as good as it gets and I am wasting her time - and I dont want to do that.

[searchingmysoul]

((((((((((P7))))))))))

Sometimes you can't get unstuck until you know that you are stuck...

Maybe talk about this with your T. Tell them you feel like you keep ending up in the same place with therapy and wonder if it is worth it to continue. Together you can talk about what needs or does not need to happen to get you to where you would like to be.

[phoenix7]

not sure if im going to go back - sort of what im trying to decide - thanks

[searchingmysoul]

P7

Sorry Pheonix, I read the part about what your T said to you wrong. Hence my off base reply.

I don't have an answer for when to end therapy, only you know what is best for you. I do imagine that it is frustrating to feel as though you keep coming to the same place and wondering if that is as good as it gets. This is hard stuff and hard work and there is no right or wrong answer for how to do it. As far as what your T said- are you interested in getting clarification about it?

I do hope that you find the clarity you are looking for.

[phoenix7]

No need to be sorry, I confuse myself often enough! ... clarity I would love to have some of that.... LOL

I dont know... my avenues of support seem to be closing and maybe Im just trying to control that - backing off to avoid the truth - maybe this is just as good as it gets - taking a step back so I wont be hurt.... hard to say.

[DoggyBonz]

Been there - is this is as good as it gets or what would it take for things to be different - questions I have stuggled with big time - and I have taken several breaks.

So a part of me wants to say that you used the word giving up on therapy - I am in marketing so words play a role. Are you giving up on therapy or on yourself b/c you think this is the best that it can be.

There are certain things to accept - the color of your eyes, the way people drive, your desire for chocolate at 3am but I'm not so sure about therapy.

Talk to your T, look at what else you want from yourself and if there are other ways to achieve it, maybe find another type of T to work with. I think the question is a great one b/c it's about growing.

But just asking the question implies that maybe you want more and are stuck and want to possibly find a way out.

Ok, enough pop psychology - have fun figuring it out.

[phoenix7]

a way out would be good.... or chocolate at 3am

[deliquesce]

oh hai P7!

i think... if there are issues you still want resolved, then maybe it is not "therapy" that you need to give up on but your "therapist". your T's statement is a pretty decent indication of her not knowing where to go with you... which is maybe why you are feeling stuck?

i would find someone else. hell, you could have my old T if you like.

[phoenix7]

[quote=deliquesce;920315_

i would find someone else. hell, you could have my old T if you like. [/quote]

gee thanks but i think i wil decline that offer hes all yours

[dalila]

I have to ask if you are sure who your T meant. Perhaps she was trying to get you to realize that you have limits? I am not saying this very well but my T has said something like this and meant that I was not in control of the whole world, I can't fix everyone and everything around me no matter how driven to do so I feel. She has spent time helping me to find a focus for my 'need to fix the world's problems' so that I can feel like I have value without becoming overwhelmed.

Also she could be saying that she can't fix you because she can only offer you opportunies to heal, methods to deal with your issues but she can't reach inside and repair you.

safe hugs if ok.

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

gee thanks but i think i wil decline that offer hes all yours

this is how i feel about old T: .

but maybe it would be an idea to find someone new? i don't think you should give up with therapy altogether.

((((((((((((((((((P7))))))))))))))))))))))

When my T says something I'm not sure about, I always ask him about it. Maybe you are misinterpreting what she said??? It seems worth asking...

And then like someone else here said, maybe it's not that you need to be done with therapy, maybe you need someone new who can help you move to a new level. Or maybe this T will still be perfect for you, and together the two of you can figure out what to do differently to move forward?

There are DEFINITELY times in T when I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. But then something happens, and it seems like things start moving forward again. Maybe it's just part of the ebb and flow of therapy. Like, if we were always working and changing and moving, it would almost be too much. We need time to rest and regroup and then we jump back in and keep moving...

(((((((((((((((((((((P7)))))))))))))))))))))) I hope you will at least go back for one more appointment just for some clarification...

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

i think... if there are issues you still want resolved, then maybe it is not "therapy" that you need to give up on but your "therapist". your T's statement is a pretty decent indication of her not knowing where to go with you... which is maybe why you are feeling stuck? i would find someone else.

this is what i was thinking, too. My T said, I don't terminate anyone; but she added, there comes a time when the client knows that they are done. Now I know that I am NOT done, not by a long shot; but knowing that you are done and thinking "well I guess this is as good as it can get" are (I suspect) not the same thing.
could it not be that yr T has taken you as far as she can due to her own limitations, not yours? and that a different T will open up whole new vistas for you...worth a try?

[phoenix7]

thanks everyone,

I guess I will make another appointment and discuss it - P7

[deliquesce]

let us know how it goes, bubs .

[MINIME]

I think that only you can decide if you are done. It also depends on why you think that. If you feel like you have stuff to work on but its not working then that is a sign your not done.
this is one area I have no idea on. At all. Sorry ((HUG))