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#1
Jan 13, 2009, 06:44 PM
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Well, since someone mentioned PC as a sort of informal group therapy, I'm going to use it for that right now!
 I've been lurking lately because I was really triggered at the talk of "insiders" and "outsiders" on the board, followed by someone sending me a PM telling me I am an "insider". Just, yuck. I just want to say that I think everyone here is valuable, and has something to contribute, and I would hate to think that anyone feels "outside" of what is happening here. I know I try hard to support everyone on this board (and I ask for a lot of support for myself) and for me, it's always felt like a safe and welcoming place. I'm going to try coming out of lurkdom now, but seriously, if I have EVER inadvertently made anyone feel unwelcome, I sincerely apologize. Just the thought of that makes me kind of ill. Hugs to ALL... 
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#2
Jan 13, 2009, 07:00 PM
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((((EM)))) welcome back. Im sorry the forum made you uncomfortable. But Im glad you're back!
 yaaay
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#3
Jan 13, 2009, 07:02 PM
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(((((((((( earthmama )))))))))))
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#4
Jan 13, 2009, 07:37 PM
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oh, nasty
 .i would've been really sad if i had known people were dividing us into insiders/outsiders also. i'm glad you're back, EM. but lurk all you want. you know what is best for you, and i don't think anyone would think you were lurking to intentionally harm them or something .
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#5
Jan 13, 2009, 08:07 PM
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((earthmama))
Glad you are feeling better! 
__________________
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#6
Jan 13, 2009, 09:42 PM
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(((((((((( earthmama )))))))))))
Good to see you again. Sorry you felt uncomfortable.
__________________
"What is Real? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day. "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." -The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams |
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#7
Jan 13, 2009, 09:51 PM
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((((((((((((((((((EM)))))))))))))))))) IMO you have nothing to apologize for. I have only seen you be supportive of me and others since I joined. Wishing you much peace.
__________________
The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening. 
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#8
Jan 13, 2009, 10:48 PM
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earthmama You have an amazing heart and are so supportive. And thank you for this post...I agree that each member here has value and something different and valuable to contribute...
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#9
Jan 13, 2009, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
I've been lurking lately too. I have been fragile and unable to make any posts. We must all remember that we are all healing and are at different stages. The individuals who call themselves "insiders" obviously have a high school click mentality. It is a shame and does happen. I wanted everyone to know I'm here to support (when I can) and view everyone as valuable.
__________________
EJ 
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#10
Jan 14, 2009, 12:08 AM
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Quote:
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#11
Jan 14, 2009, 12:20 AM
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(((((Earthmama))))
I think this is a very welcoming board compared to many I have been on. Thanks everyone who has made me feel welcome. I didn't remember anyone calling themselves insiders, if I am thinking of the right thread. I remember several saying that they felt like outsiders and I was surprised, as some were regular posters who have made me feel welcome and had seemed to me, from their posts, to be comfortable here. Hope they (and everyone) will stick around!
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#12
Jan 14, 2009, 11:54 AM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#13
Jan 14, 2009, 09:42 PM
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(((earthmama)))
Welcome back! Everyone else has offered such supportive words, but I also wanted to really try to use this as a bit of group therapy...if you're game. What is it about being seen as an 'insider' that triggered you? You have made so much growth, and have shared so much of that here on the boards. You consistently offer supportive posts, and have reached out other members. You know you've done a great job (at least I hope you do), so why would the comment of a stranger rattle you? Meant in the spirit of helping you feel more sure of what an amazing person you are!
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 Sannah
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#14
Jan 14, 2009, 10:06 PM
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Spotted Owl....
Thank you for the question and the kind words. I actually wrote a response and then deleted it! Such a weirdly triggery subject for me, I can't even do group therapy about it. I guess the short, non-triggery reply is that I feel so much compassion for everyone here, and have received so much support, that I would hate to hurt anyone or be mean, and to me, "insider" has sort of a "mean" quality to it. There! Now, let's see if I can leave THIS response up and not delete it. I'm off to bed...that should help
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#15
Jan 14, 2009, 11:10 PM
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(((Earthmama))) I have never seen you be anything other than supportive, kind and caring to everyone
- insiders? outsiders? arent we all just here together? psychesiders?  helping each other as best we can - sharing our experiences to let others know that there can be light at the end of the tunnel - and asking for advice when we need it if we can and accepting support if that is what we need  I hope everyone remains well and happy P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!  (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#16
Jan 15, 2009, 02:11 AM
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I lurk too Em. I always read but don't often post. I guess I lack the confidence or don't believe that I really have anything worthwhile to offer or I may be misunderstood (resulting in conflict). I do care about people here and I have found them far more supportive than unsupportive. Do take care EM , I don't think there is anything wrong with 'lurkdom' anyway people find reading posts helpful without posting themselves.
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Tired12 
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#17
Jan 15, 2009, 02:56 AM
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My T would be VERY pleased =) T would say that this is a good sign of group cohesion; that ppl feel that they can tell others what they think about the group.
so .... GOLD STAR. "I've been lurking lately because I was really triggered at the talk of "insiders" and "outsiders" on the board, followed by someone sending me a PM telling me I am an "insider". Just, yuck. I just want to say that I think everyone here is valuable, and has something to contribute, and I would hate to think that anyone feels "outside" of what is happening here. "
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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| Sannah
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#18
Jan 15, 2009, 07:34 AM
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Quote:
perfect response. thanks!
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| phoenix7
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#19
Jan 16, 2009, 12:44 AM
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hi all, as a newcomer myself, i would like to explain how i think the original comment was intended. being new in a forum works exactly like being new to a school. you are physically with the rest of the group, but until they get to know you, it feels that they are not really interested in what you have to say, they will most likely not share with you right away. for me, coming in to this forum, i could feel the compassion and empathy between the existing posters, and so badly wanted to be part of that! to the new posters feeling like "outsiders": just hang in there, it takes a while for people to get to know each other, and i'm sure, pretty soon, we will feel like "insiders" too. no offense to the insiders, i admire all of you
, and you're absolutely not doing anything to make us feel unwelcome, it's just a bit difficult being a new kid on the block.
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| Sannah
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#20
Jan 16, 2009, 12:56 AM
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yep... it does take time... and i've noticed a pattern (if i may)
responses that are really supper supportive = shorter time responses that are technically correct and analytical = longer time. just my 2 cents. Plus... when I feel like I am falling out of the loop (and it does happen) I realize that I stopped being as supportive because i was too involved in me and my stuff. Which pushes me to open up and support others. it is a give and take... ebb and flow.
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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| phoenix7
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#21
Jan 16, 2009, 05:46 PM
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I sometimes post when am outside when its sunny. Does that mean I am an outsider? Cus in wa it rains all the time so I would be an insider alot more then not. Or sometimes I post when i feel floaty while i am inside the house so that makes me an insider/ outsider. Wow im so cool. love ya lots hang in there
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 Happy fall my friends
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| Sannah
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#22
Jan 16, 2009, 05:57 PM
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Minime - you ROCK =) LOL currently I am "inside" but it is freezing so i am heating my bed so i can thaw... which would make me more "inside" once I am there... all this is just illusion... inside...outside... depends from the point where one is looking. =)
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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| MINIME
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#23
Jan 18, 2009, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
Welcome
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#24
Jan 18, 2009, 05:10 PM
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| Kiya
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#25
Jan 18, 2009, 06:01 PM
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Quote:
I remember feeling like that when I first came here....this is the first internet message board community thing (whatever they're called!) that I have ever participated in, so I wasn't even really sure how to jump in. I made a "rule" for myself that I would respond to 5 posts a day. I was SO scared that no one would care what I said, but I just made myself do it, and eventually I started feeling more comfortable. Welcome to PC
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