[anna342]

I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Maybe this is the end of the therapy road for me, at least for a while.

All I seem to do is sit there and listen, answering the occasional question with whatever pops into my head.

I'm low at the moment, but no one can help, time will tell.

[Sannah]

What do you want to work on in therapy?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by anna342

I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Maybe this is the end of the therapy road for me, at least for a while.

All I seem to do is sit there and listen, answering the occasional question with whatever pops into my head.

I'm low at the moment, but no one can help, time will tell.

(((((((( abba342 ))))))))

have you been with the same T for a while now? Does he/she give you some feedback on where the two of you are?

[anna342]

Originally Posted by Sannah

What do you want to work on in therapy?

I really don't know anymore, all I want is to not feel so sad about my life. My constant anxieties, urges, compulsions and depressed thoughts just make every moment hard to cope with. I'm past them being individual problems, I just feel my life is one big mess and I'm so overwhelmed all I can do is get depressed and hide myself away from the world

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

(((((((( abba342 ))))))))

have you been with the same T for a while now? Does he/she give you some feedback on where the two of you are?

I've been seeing the same social worker who does kinda therapy with me for about 18months now. Most recently he says i'm under a lot of pressure at the moment, but need to realise I'm worth the effort of trying to make something of the situation. He also says i've been quite resistant to treatment.

I just don't feel like I have the energy to contribute anything, and without me fully wanting to change things I guess nothing can be achieved. For a long time I told him not to waste his time with me, but he said it's my time not his. Now I don't even care about who's time it is, it just seems pointless talking over stuff when I can't get out of a rut of just hating myself and most things in my life.

[outofsolutions]

Originally Posted by anna342

I really don't know anymore, all I want is to not feel so sad about my life. My constant anxieties, urges, compulsions and depressed thoughts just make every moment hard to cope with. I'm past them being individual problems, I just feel my life is one big mess and I'm so overwhelmed all I can do is get depressed and hide myself away from the world


I've been seeing the same social worker who does kinda therapy with me for about 18months now. Most recently he says i'm under a lot of pressure at the moment, but need to realise I'm worth the effort of trying to make something of the situation. He also says i've been quite resistant to treatment.

I just don't feel like I have the energy to contribute anything, and without me fully wanting to change things I guess nothing can be achieved. For a long time I told him not to waste his time with me, but he said it's my time not his. Now I don't even care about who's time it is, it just seems pointless talking over stuff when I can't get out of a rut of just hating myself and most things in my life.

I feel exactly the same way you do.
I don't know where to turn.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by anna342

I can't get out of a rut of just hating myself and most things in my life.

Are there some things in your life, or in your mind, that you don't hate? Something that actually interests you?

[Mouse_]

anna, I don't think telling someone their resistant to therapy is helpful or true to that matter. I dont know of any living soul that would truely prefer to remain in pain..sounds like you perhaps would do better with a more experienced analyst...also the feelings you describe I experience also and know that the only way past them is to go through them, so I turn up each session and just trust in time and the process time...

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by anna342

all I want is to not feel so sad about my life.

My constant anxieties, urges, compulsions and depressed thoughts just make every moment hard to cope with.

it just seems pointless talking over stuff when I can't get out of a rut of just hating myself and most things in my life.

I chose one thing at a time to work on (didn't necessarily complete the work on each thing before starting another area, though). I chose situations that were difficult for me to handle and worked on each one. All of these situations involved interacting with others. I learned a lot about myself working like this and learned what I could change or learn so that I could handle these situations. Basically, all of my issues were discovered (and fixed) just this way..........

[anna342]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Are there some things in your life, or in your mind, that you don't hate? Something that actually interests you?

I love my family and close friends. That is pretty much it.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by anna342

I love my family and close friends. That is pretty much it.

You might spend time thinking about them, and examining your relations with them, and why you love them, as topics for discussion in therapy. I find when you think about things you actually love, as opposed to things you are supposed to love, you can find out more about who you really are, and what other parts of life are interesting to you.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I find when you think about things you actually love, as opposed to things you are supposed to love, you can find out more about who you really are, and what other parts of life are interesting to you.

Wow, what a great statement Pachy!

[anna342]

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply.

I've had time to think, and I'm coming round to the idea that I can't figure stuff out alone or cope alone yet.

But I'm not sure that I want to contact him now or not. If something happens and I need the immediate support I don't know what I'm going to do, sometimes I cope ok on my own, but sometimes I just need someone to help me out a little, to put some perspective on the situation.

I feel a little angry at him in all honesty, even though I'm not really sure what he has done other than just talk AT me for the past few sessions. I don't help the situation though, by sitting in silence.

In some ways I feel like he's trying to be my dad. I get very angry with people telling me what to do around my uni work, even though I need the support with it, and I guess coming from an older male it reminds me of how my dad speaks to me.

I really don't know what to do about seeing him now. It feels strange to not feel the attachment anymore, the feeling that I want to email to tell him whats going on has just gone. I feel very confused.

Originally Posted by anna342

I feel a little angry at him in all honesty, even though I'm not really sure what he has done other than just talk AT me for the past few sessions. I don't help the situation though, by sitting in silence.

.

Can you go and talk to him about this?? T and I have (finally) figured out that when he starts talking too much, I TOTALLY shut down. TOTALLY. I hate it. He is much more careful now.

This might be a good starting point in rebuilding the relationship with him, if that's what you want to do. Most of my biggest growth in therapy has come from working on the relationship with T...

[anna342]

Maybe I will try... when we are talking again, for now I just can't be bothered with contacting him. I'm being childish I know.

[KUREHA]

Maybe you could or should see someone else.

When I was doing CBT with a CPN - I got no where, when she referred me to a psychologist - I got no where - we went over the same thing and just got stuck there - so he said we'd take a break - so I left.

Now I have an awesome psychologist - I'm still doing CBT, but she's taking it really slowly because I'm not ready for the next bit. She's been really great the last few weeks.

So maybe if you don't mind seeing someone else, you could have a similar thing happen, maybe you just can't get any further with who you see now

[anna342]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

Maybe you could or should see someone else.

When I was doing CBT with a CPN - I got no where, when she referred me to a psychologist - I got no where - we went over the same thing and just got stuck there - so he said we'd take a break - so I left.

Now I have an awesome psychologist - I'm still doing CBT, but she's taking it really slowly because I'm not ready for the next bit. She's been really great the last few weeks.

So maybe if you don't mind seeing someone else, you could have a similar thing happen, maybe you just can't get any further with who you see now

I'm starting to think I will, but then I'd be very sad to leave him too.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by anna342

I feel a little angry at him in all honesty, even though I'm not really sure what he has done other than just talk AT me for the past few sessions. I don't help the situation though, by sitting in silence.

In some ways I feel like he's trying to be my dad. I get very angry with people telling me what to do around my uni work, even though I need the support with it, and I guess coming from an older male it reminds me of how my dad speaks to me.

Anna, maybe some transference is going on here? This is an excellent way to work through things! I would suggest giving it a go.........

You are sitting in silence and then are upset that he is talking at you???????

Originally Posted by anna342

Maybe I will try... when we are talking again, for now I just can't be bothered with contacting him. I'm being childish I know.

See, you are responding to him like you do your dad?

[anna342]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Anna, maybe some transference is going on here? This is an excellent way to work through things! I would suggest giving it a go.........

You are sitting in silence and then are upset that he is talking at you???????


See, you are responding to him like you do your dad?

Your right, I'm treating him like my dad because I feel like our relationship is quite like that. I feel like he treats me as his child as well though, so maybe we are both guilty of it. I guess it's not healthy.

I don't think I want to start over again, but if what's become of our 'relationship' is bad then I guess I will have to leave and go it alone. I'll have to learn to be strong alone and lean on my family rather than keep it from them.

[Sannah]

Anna, if you work through this with your T you will be able to leave this behind you. If you walk away without resolving it, it will come up again next time you cross paths with an older man. We take our problems with us no matter where we go until we stop and resolve them. Are you afraid to work through this?

[anna342]

I'm afraid of things I don't understand, and I don't understand what is going on, why I'm feeling like he's taking the place of my father. I don't know how to change things, how to tell him that I feel like that sometimes.

Even this feels overwhelming and too scary for me to do anything about.

[Sannah]

Anna, transference is really common. You were molded by your father and the way that you respond to him is ingrained in you. Any situation that you encounter that is similar will "trigger" you to respond this way that you learned. If you address this you will understand it and you will have the choice to not do it anymore (you will recognize when it is happening and then have more control over how you respond). It is making the unconscious conscious basically. I am sorry that it is scary for you. Being scared is common......

[anna342]

Thank you Sannah, you've certainly given me something to consider for when I am next in contact with him.