[sittingatwatersedge]

yesterday in describing my reaction to some event I told T, " and I remember thinkig, boy, I wonder what Mrs ___" would have thought of that - "

she has asked me to call her by her first name, and I'm trying to make an effort to do that, but when she saw that I still think of her as Mrs ___, a she called me on it.

i get the feeling she sees it as a sort of resistance, that after 16 months I am still formal with her, and therefore withdrawn and not forthcoming. From my end, I was brought up to say Mr or Mrs to people I respect, and I'm inclined to say Mrs because of the respect I do have for her.

of course I will try to accomodate her; but may I ask, what do you call yr T?

Elwin? Hermione?
Dr Jekyll ? Mr. Tibbs? Mrs Miniver?
or other?

[hangingon]

LOL sitting,
When I first starting seeing my T, I didn't call her anything, I just went in and said hi. However, in my emails I would address her as Mrs ##### (last name). Well one day she sent and email back saying please call me #####(first name). So from that point on, in emails, I address her by her first name. As far as session, I still don't think I call her by name. I think I just say hi; I will have to check and see lol, as I don't pay attention to that much.

[Brightheart]

My T was always on a first name basis with me and I always used his shortened-version nickname when writing or speaking to him. I think we are only about 5 years or so different in age and we were both comfortable with it.

[KUREHA]

When I see my psychologist - I don't use her name - I wouldn't be sure what to say.
When I see the receptionist for my appointments - I use her first name, but I'm not sure if I should say DR _____

Well, I could tell you some of the things that I have called my T, but we aren't allowed to use that type of language on here.

As far as his name-- for some reason, I was afraid to use it. Three and a half years later, I'm not afraid of much in therapy. Whenever I call him, I say: Hi ____, it's _____.

I started out using the full version of his first name; now I use the shortened version. He would always use the shortened version when identifying himself on the phone, and I think he writes the shortened version on receipts and stuff... so that's what I call him.

And when I start getting angry before he even gets his point across, he has said, "Okay, okay, calm down, Punchy." LOL. He has also called me Toughy and Miss Hockey.

[MissCharlotte]

I call T by his first name. He calls me by my first name. That's it!

Oh yeah, I have a few nicknames for him that I laugh about with my girlfriend but he DOES NOT know about them. I think I would die if he did.

[emilyjeanne]

My T is also my Pdoc. If I need to call her something is it Dr. (last name). MD's are always formal. I'm actually going to ask her about that during our appointment tomorrow. She has never told me to call her Dr. T but I never felt comfortable.

On a lighter point, I have nicknamed her Pebbles. Never saying it to her face. Well, that is not true. I told her I call her Pebbles. Anyway, when I first starting going to her I felt like she was stone cold in person. But on the phone she was soft and sounded like she cared. Then one day the telephone T and the inperson T merged and she became Pebbles.

[mightaswelllive]

Though I rarely use it, I call T by her first name. She calls me by my first name, and sometimes by my short name. I like that very much - only people who really seems to care about me call me by my short name. It is satisfactory.

My old T called me by my first name but acted as though she wanted me to call her Dr. This really irritated me as it made me feel unimportant. Though, maybe she just needed to use her title to feel validated? Everyone has their own stuff, right?

[deliquesce]

pdoc (who is also my T) i call Dr. One thing I have noticed recently is that in the past, he used to call and introduce himself as "Hi, it's Dr blah here", but now he just uses his first name. Also when he sends texts and stuff, he signs off with his first name. I like it a lot, but I still call him with his full title, because he hasn't invited me to call him by his first name.

With my old-T, I started off by calling him Dr, but as I got to know him made the switch to first name.

My general rule is that you don't call someone by their first name until invited to do so. It's a respect thingy, like you said.

With the new-T I am seeing, I'm not sure if he is a PhD, or a Masters, so I don't know whether to call him Dr or Mr. I have left a few messages on his phone, and just started off with "hi...", which has felt rude. I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

[my3sns]

My T has always refered to herself by her first name and thats what i have pretty much become accustomed to . Every now and again i will slip and refer to her as ma'am and she always calls me on it and tells me to just call her by her first name , but sometimes i just cant help it as that was how i was raised. And in my defense she is about 20 or so years older than i am lol.

i asked my t how she preferred to be addressed and she pretty much said whatever i'm comfortable with (she gave me options) so i call her by her first name. she's older so sometimes i think maybe i should call her dr. firstname but she is so casual and young in spirit. she looks and dresses way younger than she is.

[velcro003]

I don't call her anything! I just say "hi"...but in e-mails I say Dr. ______. Though she always responds with just her first name.

To my friends I call her Doc and the shortened version of her first name. Lets just say its an alliteration.

[sunrise]

My T used my first name from the beginning. I also called him by his first name also from the beginning. So we kind of followed each other's leads. When he called me on the phone at first, he would identify himself by his first and last names. Not that he calls me that often, but now he just uses his first name. And sometimes he has used his given first name instead of the diminutive, which is what he really goes by (you know, Michael vs. Mike). He is only 5 years older than I am, we have an informal relationship, plus, my degree is higher than his (he is Master's level), so it would feel weird to use our titles. I would have to call him Mr. and he would be calling me Dr., lol! I also think it feels more reciprocal to not call him Mr. We each use first names--the subtext is that we are equals. If he was 20 years older than I was, extremely well-groomed, and wore a suit and tie, I might call him Mr.

I also see a family therapist with my daughter and we both use his first name. I also call my PNP by her first name. I should add that we live in quite an informal part of the country.

I always love these topics.

Originally Posted by sunrise

He is only 5 years older than I am, we have an informal relationship, plus, my degree is higher than his (he is Master's level), so it would feel weird to use our titles. I would have to call him Mr. and he would be calling me Dr., lol!

lol, too funny sunny. i think t should call you dr. sunny.

[PlanningtoLive]

My T is my pdoc as well, so it is "Dr.....". I can't picture calling him by his first name, he is so formal sometimes.

Mary Alice

I have 2 therapists.
We call one Miss (First Name) or just (First Name), depending who is out.
Our second therapist is a Dr. but we have never addressed her as such. It's always been a first name thing.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

yesterday in describing my reaction to some event I told T, " and I remember thinkig, boy, I wonder what Mrs ___" would have thought of that - "

she has asked me to call her by her first name, and I'm trying to make an effort to do that, but when she saw that I still think of her as Mrs ___, a she called me on it.

i get the feeling she sees it as a sort of resistance, that after 16 months I am still formal with her, and therefore withdrawn and not forthcoming. From my end, I was brought up to say Mr or Mrs to people I respect, and I'm inclined to say Mrs because of the respect I do have for her.

of course I will try to accomodate her; but may I ask, what do you call yr T?

Elwin? Hermione?
Dr Jekyll ? Mr. Tibbs? Mrs Miniver?
or other?

Mostly I call my T "Dude", but on occasion it's "Dr. _____" and at times his first name only. I like to change it up. Gotta keep T on his toes.

I sometimes refer to one of his secretary's (who has the slightly cold and ditzy personality) as "Pegasus", but only to my T.

[Dani]

I've never actually said her name when talking to her, but when I'm talking to someone else about her I just say her first name.

[phoenix7]

I have had two real T's - and I never used eithers name - oooh except first real T i rang once and got him instead of an answering machine and calle him by his first name - just after saying S**T I thought you were a machine! eek ! should have just hung up ! - he laughed - phew!

maybe using T's first name would make it more real for me - and thats scary

[MINIME]

I call my emdr t goofy or her first name my reg t is sunshine miss (first name) or just her name. I think we r really informal i even call them dorks lol

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by simcha

mostly i call my t "dude",

:rotflmao:

Originally Posted by phoenix7

after saying s**t i thought you were a machine!

:rotflmao:

umm, why aren't my smiley guyz working?