[ripcord]

In ‘81 I was in a combat vet rap group at a Vet Center in Haight-Ashbury. I had been experiencing all the standard responses to PTS and felt hopeless. There was another guy who had been a squad leader in the unit that attacked Hamburger Hill. Except, he was on R&R when Hamburger Hill took place and his entire squad was killed. He declared that “He would never smile again as a tribute to his dead buddies.” That went through me like a bolt of lightning and I said, “Why not live the life you would have wished for your buddies – with love, friendship, prosperity, happiness?” That shifted my perspective and I became a living memorial. It gave me purpose beyond my own self.

[Quarter life]

For sure ripcord. Having a purpose outside of ourselves most certainly is an effective coping mechanism. I believe that it has a great deal to do with learning to compartmentalise, as opposed to ruminating and churning our grief and loss in our minds for years on end. Not an easy task though...at least it wasn't for me. A dreadfully steep learning curve, with many bumps along the way.

After 20 or so years, I have now managed to put my trauma and grief into a pretty little box where it can't hurt me anymore. I know it's there, I know I can open it anytime, but I resist the urge now as I have a lot of living to catch up on.

Be kind to yourself ripcord. Q.L