[MichelleNY]

How do you stop loving a friend.. yet still be a friend.??

hurts too much to have feelings like this....at same time I can't walk away.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by MichelleNY

How do you stop loving a friend.. yet still be a friend.??

Depends -- on a bunch of things. How you've been loving him/her. What you want to do after you "stop". What kind of friend each of you wants to be, and whether you can find something that suits you both.

[MichelleNY]

We've been friends 5 years now... my friendship grew into love as years passed..don't think he feels the same kind of love for me as I do him. I think of him constantly... worry when I dont hear from him.. get hurt cos he doesnt say the things I want to hear....like he misses me... or even thinking of me.......or..wish you were here...so since he doesnt say anything like that... thats why I know he just thinks of me as a friend . I know this is all on me...and I have to come to terms with this.. I dont want to lose his friendship. Just feeling rejected right now. Thanks for your help.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by MichelleNY

I think of him constantly... worry when I dont hear from him.. get hurt cos he doesnt say the things I want to hear....like he misses me... or even thinking of me.......or..wish you were here...

Sounds like you've gotten to sort of need him -- for reassurance or something.

If he weren't into reassuring you, or he felt leaned on and didn't want to feel that way, I can see where he might have a bit of a problem with you needing him and might feel like keeping more of a distance than you wanted.

I can see where trying to hold on to him (assuming for the moment that that's what you're doing) could have two results that you might not want: it could make him uncomfortable (and push him away), and it could make you feel as if you weren't in control of how the relationship went and what you could do for yourself.

If you could bring yourself to let him to go his way, whether that way was going to lead past your door or not, you'd at least be putting yourself back in charge of how you felt. Of course your being willing to let him go wouldn't make him want to be with you more -- that'll always be up to him -- but it just might take some pressure off him and let him be more comfortable around you, if he ever did feel like stopping by.

__________________________
If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back, it's yours forever.
If not, hunt it down and kill it...
(No, no, not that version, the other one! LOL)

[MichelleNY]

Thank You so much for your insight... your pretty much right on the money with it. Last thing I would want to do is give him more pressure then he already has.

He called me today.... put me on cloud 9... all we did was just talk about kids..and whats going on in our lives and if felt sooooo good.
Just hearing his voice.. makes me smile

I think he's content with things this way... good friends who can share every aspect of their lives with no complications.

He has an appt this coming week close enough to my way... I'm gonna ask to meet me before appt.. for coffee somewhere.. If he comes up with an excuse... then I'll know he has no interest.. {Im the one always asking...to us to meet up... one would think that should tell me something.. but.. I know he has a full plate at home and its not so easy for him to what he wants to do.}

Im at a point.. where If he wants more out of this.. he has to be the one to push.. he clearly knows how I feel about him.

Once again.. Thank You.