[NeedingHelp]

Hello everyone, I posted this first in the new member introductions forum, now I'm needinh more help, since I'm losing my bleeping mind here!

Generally, I think I'm pretty healthy emotionally. But it's turning out that I might be wrong. I hold a decent job, have been working for the same company in a managment position for 5 years, and perform well enough for them to keep paying me.

I have 2 children, 9 and 5, one boy and a girl, both are very important to me.

My most recent issue comes from this... My wife and I have had relationship problems for years, stemming from both of us having experienced abusive childhoods, and at some point, I withdrew into video games as an escape. Sounds silly, but it was a very serious addiction. I'd play about 300 hours a month. I very recently took stock of my life, and realized I was missing out on my kids childhoods, and my marriage was in shambles. I used to yell at any and all family members "Not now!" "Too busy!" and "Gimme a minute" which would turn into an hour or two or three. I felt bad that my kids were missing out on their dad and my wife was missing out on a happy marriage as a result as well.

I quit playing video games, cold turkey, about two weeks ago, and it was the best thing I could have done for my life. I thought all would be well.

But, my emotional distance from my wife, for years, has driven her into a cycle of lying to me and having a non-physical, emotional afair with a married friend of hers she's known since high school, but hadn't talked to till about a month ago since then. I was so devastated, I wound up having a crying fit at some friends of mine that came to visit me at work, and took the next three days as vacation.

I've caught her lying to me at least 5 times about when she was calling him, when he was calling her and whatnot, and she told me she asked him not to call here anymore. If she hadn't lied to me several times about him already, I think I could believe her, but that boat has sailed, you could say.

I feel that instead of talking on the phone she's using an online chat function to keep in contact with him, and it's tearing me up. I really do love my wife, and desperatley wish I hadn't shut myself away emotionally via my escapism into video games, and want to win her back.

But I'm also afraid. Very, very afraid. She's lied to me several times about this guy, and though I completley believe her that it's a non sexual relationship, I'm terrified that I won't be able to compete emotionally/romantically with a man who's never shut her out like I did for so long.

Sincerely, the new guy.
NeedingHelp


She's continued to lie to me since I first posted this, downplaying the extent of their communication (cell phone bills, about 1-3 hours a night, every night, starting around 12 PM). I can't even tell what's real and what's not anymore. She says it was completley plutonic (though that's just not possible, look up the definition for "Emotional Affair") and nothing physical at all. I'm having major trouble beliving ANYTHING she says now. She's pregnant now, just found out a couple days ago, and refuses to even talk to me about this emotional injury she's laid on me. "I didn't do anything wrong!" she says and "I'm pregnant, you're just gonna have to suck it up and take it".

I can only take so much before I start to break down. What the heck do I DO?