advice and thoughts..

My boyfriend and i have been together 2 years.We have had some huge fights and have split a couple of times.. I have seen him send messages to other women in a flirtatious manner and when i really believe that it isnt happening anymore he would change his password or hide his phone.I admit in the beginning of our relationship i was not together( i drank and partied waaaay too much)i have changed for him .. for me..cause i am better off not living in that life style.
Today what started out as us joking around became more serious.. he threw in my face his cousin"T"(a guy that hit on me before he knew that i was his cousins girl)" o yes "T" u have money and u party", and i threw a stone back.."i dont do like u and get online to flirt with others.. and change passwords and hide things from u. nor have i ever given u an incling that i wanted your cousin." From there it just became ugly.. throwing at me that one of the women he talked to told him i wouldnt change and that she would stay around and wait for him.
I am supposed to have fabulous self esteem when things like that are going on? I am supposed to be ok with women sending him pictures of themselves?
I pray everynight that god help our relationship.. because i do truely love him and i know he loves me( like god allowed us to cross paths and then 3 years later allowed us to to again and we held our time dear.Being best friends and then moving to a relationship.He is my everything.. and he... i need to stop here.

Hi Tryin, welcome to pc. I'm guessing you and your boyfriend and not very old? In your teens or early 20's? He sounds like many younger guys who have low self esteem and simply think it's cool to let everyone think he has all these girls chasing him. That's all it sounds like to me immaturity.

You might want to consider if you want to hang around, being upset by him, while he hopefully matures. Or maybe you might want to start looking around for what it sounds like you are saying you need - a boyfriend who is more emotionally mature and does not need to play games in his relationship with his girlfriend.

The only person you should ever change for is yourself. If someone really loves you then they should love you for who you are not who you could be when they have moulded you into a doormat. My ex flirted with everyone but woe betide me if someone dared to flirt with me! When we first got together he thought it was cool that other people fancied me. Over the last few years of our marriage after i had a breakdown, he would flirt with and compliment anyone, but never complimented me and he didnt want anyone else to either. In the end i couldnt talk to anyone incase they said something he didnt like. He went thru my emails and everything just incase, thing is i loved him and had done for nearly 20 years, never dreamed of having an affair all i wanted was him. While he was doing all this to me though he was also getting to know his 'best friend' calling her babe on the phone and email and taking plenty of pictures of her!

I am happy now tho nearly 2 years on with a very special man who accepts both my physical disability and my mental states, dont stay where you are not happy, loved and accepted for who you are ~ there is so much more ~ we all deserve to be happy.