[Monty_girl]

I'm at a real loss for words. My mother-n-law I believe has stolen checks from me. We asked my mother-n-law to watch our house and care for our cats for us while we went on vacation last month. Yesterday while paying bills I had to get into my box of checks for a deposit slip. My next book of checks is gone. My mother-n-law is the only one who has a key or even been in our house. I hate to think that she would do anything like this. To stoop so low as to steal my checks from my account that is my disability money. I don't want to think she could do something like this, but my mother-n-law does have a gambling problem. A few weeks before we left for vacation she was telling my husband that he had to sell our car to pay her $500 she says we browed from her. This wasn't true. We were having a hard time before I got my disability and she gave us the money. She never said anything about it being a loan. If she had we wouldn't of taken the money. She seemed to of dropped the subject and we were nervous about letting her house sit, but we did anyways. My mother-n-law is living with my sister-n-law because of her money problems. We did it to give her a break from my mother-n-law.

I'm just very hurt that she would do something like this. She's not used any of the checks from what I can see from looking online. But I'm going to have to go and deal with the bank and see what I have to do. My bank does have protection from thift. And now if I go to the bank and say my checks are gone and she uses the checks she'll go to jail. I'm just really hurt and sad she would do this to me. I can't have any kind of relationship with her now, she's hurt me too bad.

As far as I can see you have no proof that she took them.

I would report them lost/stolen explain how you went away for a while came back and they are gone.

IF and a big IF she was the one to take them and decides to use them then its her problem not yours.

[Catherine2]

Monty_girl,
I agree with Tishie...
It's a way of protecting yourself as far as the money goes.

The truth may be that she did take them, but you don't have proof beyond a reasonable doubt and I know how difficult that must feel to you.
I am so sorry that you are going through this, Monty_girl.

MILs can be a PITA for sure

Catherine

[bebop]

hon I agree it needs to be reported no matter who took them. if it was her then she needs a good wake up call on her issues. call it tough love if you will but she has a problem.

[Shangrala]

Monty....

If you find yourself at a crossroads as to what to do (regarding her being arrested), then there is another solution.

Go to your bank. Close out the account. Transfer funds to a new. Simple as that. No need to report anything stolen, or take the chance of her being arrested....However, I do feel that if she's going to play that game, she sooooooooo needs to learn to pay that price, as well.

Theft is theft. Period.
Although, the fact also remains that you have no absolute proof that she did this to you, therefore, you are acting upon assumptions, which sometimes can backfire, leaving you feeling guilty for thinking such a thing...(even though it certainly sounds as though your suspicions are for just cause).

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this...the fact of suspecting someone of violating you ..and yet not having the proof....resulting in that doubt always remaining in your mind. That IS an awful thing.
I've dealt with this same thing on different levels regarding one of my brothers, a step-son and a brother-in-aw. It's an awful feeling...not knowing if (especially) a family member is betraying you.

I wish the best for you....

Shangrala

[AAAAA]

I'm very sorry that you're going through this. Gambling can be a terrible addiction, we didn't discover how addicted my MIL was until a few days after her death. My FIL went to the bank to get money to pay for her funeral and discovered that she'd burned through 14K in just over a month, futher she'd been playing a shell game with the household bills.

I agree with everyone else, since you have no proof she did this then just report the checks missing at the bank and if she did take them and attempts to use them it's on her. What does your husband say about this?

On a side note if she helped you out financially when you needed it, isn't turn about fair play? Were you present for the conversations regarding this gift/loan? Are you sure that your husband didn't say in passing "we'll pay you back as soon as we can" whether or not he intended to? It sounds like there are a lot of possible miscommunications.

[jerrymichele]

I agree with everyone else. Do the the bank check switch or cancel the checks. If she does go to the bank and tries to use a check then that is on her. I would just be like I lost some checks, and can't find them. She will be the one who looks like a fool.

[Catherine2]

Monty...

I'm sorry to be so nosy but how are you feeling now? Were you able to make a decision that you are comfortable with, one that you feel is necessary for your protection?

Please know that we care...

Catherine