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#1
Jul 02, 2009, 10:03 PM
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I met this guy online and he was sweet...but he jumped right into the topic of marriage...he's 27 and looking for a long-term relaitonship...I want a relaitonship but I'm 20 not ready to discuss marriage...why would he talk about this when we've only met online for a few days. He wants to meet me tomorrow at about 11:00 am to go for coffee...what do you think this guy's intentions are?
__________________
 "...I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." (U2)  |
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#2
Jul 03, 2009, 01:29 AM
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it sounds like he's looking for a wife...myoasis, you seem really sweet as i've read some of your posts. but i'm confused, don't you already have a boyfriend? is it an open relationship or something because you've been mentioning some other guy you were having problems with? take care of yourself, okay?.
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#3
Jul 03, 2009, 03:12 AM
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While I don't know as much about you as reflection - If you're in a relationship already, going to meet a guy that you met online is a big no-no, unless of course your significant other is invited as well and you're looking for friends.
However, that doesn't seem to be the case. It's possible that he's mentioned marriage simply to get your take on it. He may not want to "waste your time" so to speak by starting a relationship with you if you've already made your mind up that you're not ever getting married. He may just want to know that it could be in the works at a later date Y'know? Still that is pretty odd - discussing marriage after only a few days of meeting. Don't be afraid to ask him about that if you feel the need. Either way, if you choose to meet this person, meet him in a public area. Let your friends & family know where you're going and when as well as when you may be expected back. Who knows, it may be a decision that changes your life altogether. |
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#4
Jul 03, 2009, 09:23 AM
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I personally would take a few more weeks to get to know him on line. If and when I met the guy a would take some-one with me to check him out too.
Safety first. |
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#5
Jul 03, 2009, 09:47 AM
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 totally with possum. Safety first. Also even if he is looking for marriage, to bring it this early in a relationship is not a good sign - it sounds like he'd marry anyone just to be married. That could spell disaster for any relationship or marriage he gets into.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
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#6
Jul 03, 2009, 10:02 AM
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I second that which Possum said.
Take this slowly. What's the rush? Sounds like you both reside close enough to be able to meet in person with little difficulty. With that as a possibility....I'd certainly take it somewhat slower....get to know him better over net first. And definately confront him about the topic of marriage. Sometimes, tackling these sorta subjects behind a screen is easier than in person. You've received some good advice regarding the safety tactics of meeting someone from net. I hope the best for you. Be careful. Shangrala 
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 I U!
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#7
Jul 03, 2009, 10:29 AM
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If you already feel uncomfortable about how he's going too fast then I wouldn't meet him. You need to get to know him a little bit longer before you guys meet in person anyway. I've met men on the internet before for the purpose of dating and I made sure I talked and emailed them on a consistent basis for at least a month. You must be careful. He is a bit older then you and is looking for serious relationship so he probably wants to let you know what is on his mind. If you're not ready to go at such a fast pace then pass this go on. I use to date someone who was 5-6 years older then me and in the first month he was already talking about marriage and kids. It sure freaked me out at first because I have my own person goals that I want to achieve before I pop any babies out. It never worked out because our goals in life and when we want to achieve them were totally way off. Also he was a very controlling guy. So get to know your guy before you jump into something you're not comfortable with. Always listen to your gut and never doubt yourself. There's nothing wrong with you having some doubts.
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 Shangrala
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#8
Jul 04, 2009, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
From my own experience I would be very cautious. Men that have approached me online like this in the past have only wanted an instant intimate relationship. Make sure you set boundaries and make your intentions very clear with this person that you may decide to meet in person. The men that have approached me in the past like this were intially very charming, intelligent, and sweet. When we met it was a totally different story. I know I am repeating myself but 80% of them made it very clear they wanted an intimate relationship asap with no strings attached. Be very careful! Zen888
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