[thunderbear]

I'll admit, for the last couple of months I have'nt felt like doing anything. Not housework or cooking. nothing. I do my best though to make sure everyone gets fed and the house don't get nasty. But smetimes it's hard to just get up and do what i have to do. So last night my husband decided to give me a "pep talk". He starts off by telling me I CAN do it. Then starts talking about having a willingness and that he thinks I use my anxiety and depession as an excuse to not be better (he was'nt being mean about it, he just does'nt understand). After that I kinda blanked out. I don't really remeber the rest of what he said other than telling me how i should clean in a way that is easy on me, like watching T.V. while cleaning. And on the days I can't leave the bedroom to focus on getting it organized. On and on. I feel like i am letting him down somehow. I know this is'nt what he married. I know he loves me. He knows i love him. But he just don't get it and I don't know how to communticate it to him. I kno he was only giving me this talk to help me but it really made things worse. Now I think I have to be better. I prayed and prayed last night about all of this. I want to get a job and be one of those mom's you see at the grocery store with their pretty hair and all that. But I'm not. I really don't want to be. I just want my husband to understand what I am going through or at leat be sympathetic. He has Crohn's and I try to help him as much as I can. I give him an ear when he needs it or a shoulder. I take care of him when he hurts. I sympathize. I don't know how he feels nor do I say that I do. But I try to be my best for him when he needs me to be. But i want the same from him. I have kept my deprssion buried for so long from him. Now it' gotten bad enough that I NEED to talk about it to my close family members. That includes him. But he don't understand. He thinks people (all people) have the capacity to be as good as he thinks they should be (I know it sounds right to me but that may not make much sense) I'm just confused about it all.

[Naturefreak]

(((Thunderbear)))

Sending you hugs and hoping things get better for you .
I don't have any advice as I am not doing so well myself tonight.
Can't think straight .
Just wanted to let you know that I care and I am here for you. Have a good night.