please help me....why can't I keep my friendships and relationships?

Since I remember I was alone....I think I've never had a close friend whom I really rely on....probably, just short period of time and then I lost them as usual....
I always feel that I bother people, that's why I don't call them that much and I try to give people space....then all of a sudden I get clingy and I want them when they don't want me....
I'm so sensitive and emotional....trying to work on it....but hard to get over the old habits, I guess....
This loneliness is killing me big time.....I'm trying to make some friends, but it looks like I don't find common things with them....
What do I have to do? Am I going to stay a loner for rest of my life????
Please help me....what do I do? how can I change all these negative thoughts? I'm really trying here....but something is hunting me and I can't get rid of it....something deep down into me is screaming that nobody likes me....I can't understand it....I felt people liked me before....
but honesty, these days I prefer to be alone and not being with others....what is wrong? I'm getting afraid....please help me....
Now that I think about my past....I can go over same pattern over and over and over again....finding friends and hooking up with them....then after awhile not enjoying them and cutting them off completely from my life and then wanting them after a while, but being so afraid of rejection and not getting back to them....sometimes, I hooked back to the same old friend and the friendship got even stronger.....
I have to mention this pattern in my mom....She can make friendship very easily, but then she breaks up so quickly when she finds a little bit disagreement! I hated her behavior before....and now, I'm like her!

with love
Marjan

Marjan I'm so sorry. IMO I really think that it is so hard to have a true friend. Sometimes when I meet people it's like I can see right threw them. Then of course I'm thinking to myself "oh your this type" I just lost a friend, well if you want to call her that. When I think about it now I feel like I was being used. I also think that your feeling down because of you know who, so I won't say his name for you. Do you have any family member who would be able to go out with you? I've done thing with my family members before, and I had fun.

ya family is good to be around....my sister was here and I felt better...but she had to go...the other sister is so busy with school....I will be fine...this shall pass too....thanks again....

I can feel your pain and hope you find solace . I find so many people are hurting and want friends but like you and i are afraid to step out and try. Its like we dont want to get so close we can get hurt.... Remember we are all god's creation and beautiful in his sight..... Hope you have a great day

Hi,

I have a similar problem in that i loss all friends, not sure why. but i always used to be so unhappy especially in school years, you know bullying etc... i guess it is a result of that people are so two faced.

at some point i came to the conclusion that everyone only wants to know someone if they are happy, so i started a new life new location etc.. and decided to try and just be happy all the time never saying anything sad or depression and only telling people good things about my life. i also started dancing as a good way of socialising, which helped i found myself with lots of people i was friendly with but realised none of them are real friends. i tried to get know a few better trying to meet outside of the dance situation, put it never really worked out, i found myself becoming paranoid that i would scare them off because i was too clingy or something, then because of something like them not responding to a text felt that they didn't really like me, and these thoughts consume me so much it is horrid, and i think it is that that drives them away.

I started going to church and meet some similar aged people there who are actaully concerned about my problems not just themselves, but i'm so scared of pushing them anway somehow or upsetting them. maybe i anaylise it too much i don't know. having said that i am very happy now, and married with a baby. my husband tries to confince me that people like me he can see i have some kind of friendship parnoia issue.

I don't know if what i have said will help in anyway, but at least you know your not alone in feeling you can't keep friends.

Thanks May....
Well...I've done all these stuff that you have listed here....new place, going dancing, attending religious cermonies...show just happiness....no negative talk....but well...I'm still lonely!
I'm not married and no kids....at least you have those....
However, I think I still have hope....I will go on and on with my search for friendships....
those friends I found in the dance class or club are not really true friends....there is something with them I can't understand....I met my ex boyfriend from the club and he gave me so much stress and headache and now he's with another girl....I really don't feel going dancing....I loved dancing with him...but not anymore....
Hope one day...I write that I have a caring husband and a baby
I know I got to find that peace and happiness within myself otherwise nothing will work....
thanks again
marjan