[lynn P.]

As many here might know, my marriage situation is not good. When my brother died 6 yrs. ago, we were executors of his condo(no will). There was this special oak desk (70 yrs old) that my father bought before we were born. All the siblings wanted that desk, but we all agreed to let my eldest brother have it. Since he lives 4hrs. by plane he asked me to keep it and he could take it whenever he wants.
My husband recently changed to a bigger business location. So last night I hear a bunch of noise and there he was, dumping all the drawers contents onto the sofa. I said "what are you doing"? He said "I need a desk for the office". I was stunned and told him I didn't want him to take it because it's special. He continued to say well I will keep it safe and continued to empty the contents. I then gave up and went to the kitchen fuming. I'm usually always the loser in arguments with him.
He then called me to help him lift it to the trailer. As we lifted it he said "I changed my mind I don't want it"(mad). I felt relieved that he gave up, but rotten after the experience. I felt he was insulted that I wouldn't let him take it and I felt so insulted by the whole experience. I just thought it was so inconsiderate. Sorry for the long post. There's really no question here -I just wanted to get my feelings out and feel understood. Thanks.

[Naturefreak]

(((Lynn)))

[VickiesPath]

Frankly, Lynn, I would have said much more than you did and would have never moved that desk an inch!!! He had no claim to that desk. Please don't take on his feelings and even though you felt insulted, you had every right to object. He was inconsiderate, indeed. I, personally, am glad for you that it turned out the way it did. I hope there are no lasting repercussions from the incident.

[Edahn]

Sorry to hear that, Lynn. Cheers to better times.

[marjan]

You didn't do anything wrong to think about it even....good that he didn't take the desk...now you have less things to be worry about!

[Shangrala]

Hi Lynn~
Haven't seen you round lately...(either that, or I'm simply overlooking the obvious....again...lmao).

I agree. You have EVERY right to feel furious about your hub's behavior. He has absolutely no reason to feel that he has claim to that desk, and thank God that he changed his mind.
For him to place you into such a position as to have to feel guilty about letting that leave the house in itself is VERY selfish and hurtful for him to do to you.

If hub can obtain larger business location, then he can also afford a desk for his new surroundings. Sorry, but....what a jerk. Some people always try to "cut financial corners" at the cost of those closest to them....and what makes it worse, they don't even care of the repercussions of their actions to those "loved" ones. UGH! (I should know...I'm presently married to one of them).

Stick those drawers back where they belong. Tuck that desk back into its comfy zone....and treasure it as long as you can. Yay!

Sorry he's put you through this.

Shangrala

[lynn P.]

I just wanted to send a warm thank you to everyone who responded to this thread - thanks for listening and caring enough to respond.

(( Babysteps ))
(( Shangrala ))
(( Marjan )
(( Vickie ))
(( Edahn ))

[VickiesPath]

(((((((((((lynn p)))))))))))))

[wileycoyte]

I will take a minute to tell u about a desk i had a large heavy old oak desk. I bought it at an estate auction and my ex wife knew i wanted it so she demanded it in our div settlement.... I ask her about it 10 yrs later and she said i am not sure where it is i think maybe my brother-in-law took it????? Some people don't really respect us as people and some things we value because we like it because its old...or where it came from..... I am glad u got to keep the desk where it belongs ...where u can enjoy it.... Take care and i hope you can feel some spiritual sunshine ...

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by wileycoyte

I will take a minute to tell u about a desk i had a large heavy old oak desk. I bought it at an estate auction and my ex wife knew i wanted it so she demanded it in our div settlement.... I ask her about it 10 yrs later and she said i am not sure where it is i think maybe my brother-in-law took it????? Some people don't really respect us as people and some things we value because we like it because its old...or where it came from..... I am glad u got to keep the desk where it belongs ...where u can enjoy it.... Take care and i hope you can feel some spiritual sunshine ...

Thank you for taking the time to reply to this post. My father died when I was 2 and I only have 2 things left from my father besides pictures. All 5 of us used to study at that desk and I have a picture of him doing office work at this desk. It's incredibly meaningful to my family and I'm keeping it until my oldest brother can come and get it. Thanks again for sharing your feelings about your own experience and the good wishes!

[Rmdctc]

Im glad he wasnt able to take it. Did you ever talk to him about how you felt about it?

[lynn P.]

[quote=Rmdctc;1128174]Im glad he wasnt able to take it. Did you ever talk to him about how you felt about it?[/quote

Yes he knew a long time ago how special the desk is was because my sister initailly wanted the desk - but we finally agreed that my older brother should have it. I even told him when he started emptying it ,that it's very special and I didn't want it to be removed. I think he saw on my face how devastated I felt and that's why he stopped. Thanks for caring