[oleg]

Im new here, hi everyone, sorry i skip the new member introductions..

I lived in US, my gf just moved to Europe for College recently. At first, we always keep contact everyday. But in the past weeks she hasn't been in contact with me for some reasons, i accepted the reasons but it is now too much and doesn't make any sense to me. I received like two emails and thats about it for now, i asked for a few times about whats on her mind that has build this distance between us, but she never answer, never reply! Does anybody could give opinions about whats going on with her? I have thoughts about it, it could be anything, boredom, enjoying college moment, or met some other guy, etc.

Something is definately on her mind, something's bothering her. And i dont have a clue.

Thanks for reading

[VickiesPath]

Hello Oleg and welcome to PsychCentral. As for what's up with your gf, your guess is as good as mine. There are so many things that keep one busy at college, it could be just about anything. I always had difficulty getting involved in too many things and didn't have time for them all.

I am sure that you will hear from her soon.

[sweetypie]

hi,
glad to see you at PC.



while there are many things to occupy us at different phases of life, a move, college, kids, work, etc. . . . if we are lucky enough to have a loved one in our life, we should work very hard to maintain that closeness.

at times it's harder than others. my relationship is long distance - so for me it is very important than my bf realizes i NEED to hear from him in some format, (a phone call, texts, and/or email) every day.

some days i know he is so tired from work, and maybe his kids are over and he is just wanting a hot tub and bed lol
but he makes an effort to send me a note, telling me he loves me, at the very least.

i would suggest it is a good idea to share w/your gf your feelings about a long distance relationship - even if only temporary b/c of her college studies.
and explain to her that you need a regular type of contact with her because you love her, you need her, you want to know she is ok. . . . each and every day.
even a brief text, email or a 5 minute call - is better than nothing and puts your fears to rest.

frankly - if she is not willing to be in touch with you at least briefly each day - that will say she is not interested in meeting your needs
always a red flag, in a relationship
no one is perfect - but think of it, if you DO love someone - you do WANT to meet as many of their needs as you can.
what is 5 minutes a day, sending an email that says "i love you". ?

i am wishing you the best

for me, direct honest communication works the best.
pm if you want to talk (hug)
xx

[roxyskater]

Hello and Welcome to PC. I am so glad you joined us here. Things could be going on with your GF that are just normal everyday things or yes it could be another man. There is really no way to tell except by asking her, getting her to talk to you, telling her you need it laid out once and for all, after all the truth can only come from her, you can go crazy imagining all sorts of things. Talk to her soon.

Sincerely,

Roxy

[Emily_Strange]

I hate to possibly make things worse, but I know when I get like that in a relationship, it's cause I'm not as interested anymore. Doesn't mean I'm cheating, it just means I'm having new exciting experiences and may be meeting new people who make me rethink my current relationship. & out of guilt I'd be avoidant and reluctant to stay in touch...which of course is only more hurtful and not right to do. Get in touch, make sure she's still interested, have a heart to heart. Be honest, tell her its ok if things need to end. You know.

[RomanSunburn]

I agree with what has mostly be already said. Long distance relationships are hard, and I will agree that communication is key. You really should talk to her and find out what is going on. Tell her you would like to be able to talk to her for a few minutes a day. It is not unreasonable. There are several ways you can communicate, such as email, instant messaging, and webcam through GoogleChat or AIM. All of these things dont have the charges that go with phone calls and text messaging (if that happens to be something that is bothering her about talking to you). You also need to keep in mind that she is in a different time zone. Depending on where in Europe she is, she probably has at least a 5-6 hour time difference from you, and that may be affecting things as well.

College is very busy and very exciting. If she's only been there for a few weeks, she might still be getting used to all the exciting new things surrounding her. Try not to be quick to judge. Understand that she wants to enjoy her time over there, but that doesn't mean she is cheating on your or losing interest -- she could just be busy. But at the same time, if she isn't willing to talk about talking every day, isn't willing to make you feel like you are still a part of her life even though you guys are so separated, then perhaps you need to rethink the relationship...

I hope everything works out for the best. Keep us posted.
Best wishes,
Ro