[seekinghappiness]

i have been in a relationship for 8 years. because of something that happened in the past i have become so extremely insecure and jealous that i am miserable. i'm wondering if the relationship is worth all the stress it brings me. i love her deeply and want to spend the rest of my life with her and she says the same all the time. she recently got a cellphone and carries it with her even if she just goes to the bathroom. makes me feel like she's got something to hide. when it rings or she gets a text my anxiety goes through the roof! i hate it! how do i deal with these feelings that are tearing me apart. they add to my already almost unbearable depression. we've talked about this before and she assures me i'm worrying for nothing but my mind won't stop. it's unrelentless! how can i overcome this? should i or we go to therapy? any an all advice is welcome. please help!

[theotterone]

Have you thought about couples therapy? It may help communication between you two.

I have a cell (my husband, D, HATES all phones so he doesn't carry one) which I keep by me all the time. It charges by my bed, but that isn't to keep him out of it, it's because my family, best friend (BF, male) and friends know if they need me in the middle of the night they need to call my cell.

D likes my BF and his son and doesn't have an issue with us hanging out (D actually was the one that told me to plan on hanging out with them every Friday so the Boy has the regularity of me being there every week). I don't tell D everything the BF and I talk about, but it's not really his business either. He knows there is nothing inappropriate between me and the BF and I am really open about the friendship. It helps that his best friend for over 20 years was a woman he had an intimate relationship with and I had to trust him. (They are no longer friends, but that is a different story).

Ultimately, you need to be ok with her friendships. If you can't be, then you guys need to talk. It all comes down to how much you are willing to accept. If you can't, then move on for YOU. Take care of yourself.

Hope this helps!