I believe I am a controlling Boyfriend. (Well ex boyfriend)

Hello. This is my first post, and I really could use some help.

I have been dating this girl for 2 years now. I am 20 years old. We actually broke up like 3 months ago, but we talk constantly. I broke up with her. I have now realized that I truely love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She tells me that she really loves me, but she cannot deal with my controlling attributes anymore. I did not control her to be a bad person, I always thought of it as, i really love spending time with her. I didn't mean to do it in a bad way, but I guess it was bad what I had done. I honestly need her back, and she's so special to me. I love her terribly, and i'd do anything to have her again. I've told her I wanted to change, but I've said this before, and she's having a HARD time believeing me. I really want to change, but for some reason we end up in the same situation. I can't lose this girl... I want to change to be with her. I want to be less controlling, I don't know how to. Please help. How can I get her back, and how can i prove to her that I want to change?

Your need to control is not going to go away without confronting the issues that brought about your need. As your friend found out, saying you want to change is not enough. Your candid admission that you do not know how to change tells me you may benefit from professional help.

Good luck!

Hi Velq and Welcome to PC! We're glad you are here and reaching out for information to help yourself.

I think TheByzantine is right. Admitting that you don't know how to change but want to is the first step in making change. The next step is to get professional help to find out why you need to be controlling and help in learning how to change that behavior. This is something you can do yourself or maybe you can go to couples counceling as well.

As long as you are dedicated to yourself in making real tangible change, it will happen for you. I'm wishing you well in your journey.

Hi and welcome. I think you deciding there is a problem is a great step to change. Good luck.