My partner and I are fighting

The jist of my situation is this:

My boyfriend and I met in 2007. My initial reaction to him was that he was a "player" and I decided not to begin anything with him, we even stopped talking for quite some time.

8 months following we began dating, and things (for me) got pretty serious. We were together 4 months before I discovered he was unfaithful to me with more than 5 different people. He was lying.

I decided to stay, and work on things. He always looked for excuses, he always tried to convince me he was being honest when he was really lying more.

After being together for 11 months, I walked in on him cheating. We broke it off then there (2 days after Christmas in 2008). The break up was devastating. I lost everything, including a thirteen year friendship with someone, and had to move out of state.

After several weeks of separation, we began talking to each other. I flew down one weekend in February 2009 to see him and we decided we wanted to be with each other. So I moved back, and certain circumstances changed our situations and we ended up moving in together.

We have currently been living together for 09 months. In the beginning it was sort of rough because we had to get passed the old stuff. And things became amazing, but that was shortened when I started a new job.

When we moved in together, I found out he was dating a girl 11 years younger than him at the time I flew back to see him (which is huge if you'll consider that he is 31). This hurt me so much...and it's also the reason why I had problems when I started a new job..coincidentally she became a member there. I had to keep it to myself for the longest time, and eventually ended up quiting because I told my boss who broke confidentiality with me. When I told my partner, his first reaction was for me to quit my job. Every reaction following that was focused on how wrong I am for everything. He blames me for all of the problems we have.

Since this situation, which started in September, we've argued every day. Sometimes about big things, and sometimes about really childish things. And since this situation happened with the job, all of my old feelings have resurfaced...mainly because all of the things he promised he wouldn't do anymore (like cheating on me and lying to me, or contacting ex's etc) he started doing again (minus the cheating). But once again, he blames me.

We are arguing about everything. We push each other away and reel us back in. I don't know what to do.

He suggested counseling, but when I picked someone he said $60 for an hour session was too much and didn't want to pay for it.

I am a woman who needs space when things get really emotional. But he won't let me have space. He thinks it's the worst option.

I love him. Love in my eyes is learning to get through even the toughest things, because perfection doesn't exist. We all have problems.

At times I question if love is enough. Right now I question....what can I do differently? It's tearing me up inside...

I know that this is really painful for you, but I would tell him goodbye. I think that he has some nerve blamming his cheating on you. Honestly if you just think about it, you have been in more pain then what the relationship is worth. People do have ups and downs, but it shouldn't be on a regular basis. Love should feel good, not painful. If you decide to stay with him, I personally think that he will cheat again. He has showed that a cheater always cheats.

I don't think you are fighting so much as you are in an unhealthy relationship. Some individual therapy could be very helpful to you.

Although he hasn't cheated again, I always think he's doing something he isn't or somewhere he supposed to be when he says he's going somewhere.

I can't leave. He has made me completely dependent of him, whereas I was independent before. Ex: he controls my money, car, etc.

Do you have family or friends you can stay with until you get on your feet? You aren't married. If it was your car and money before you lived together, it's still yours.

This is just my opinion, but I learned the hard way that for me, it's much better to be alone than with the wrong person.

I wish you the best.

Just something to think about: He doesn't control your money without your permission...

I know this may sound like a joke, but have you ever considered the possibility that you are involved with a psychopath? Seriously...google "psychopath symptoms". Your man here shows some obvious pathological traits. Good luck to you.