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jamminpianogirl
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Default Nov 22, 2009 at 01:58 AM
  #1
I have a question about friendship. I am very shy/quiet and I have a very hard time making friends, but there is someone I would really like to get to know. She and I used to work together, but she was also very quiet and we never really spoke to one another. At the time I thought I could tell that her withdrawal seemed to stem from depression, because she seemed to behave similar to me, but I didn't know how to reach out with my own lack of self-confidence and shyness. One day she came into work with a bandaged arm and had some excuse of what happened, but I think it might have been self-harm.

I took leave from work because of anxiety for a few months and stopped seeing her, but my boyfriend (he worked with me as well) told me that when he asked about the scars on her arms, she nearly cried and didn't really come up with an explanation. He also said she was going through a lot of stress with school and relationships.

I returned to work but never got to see her again; I was just informed that she quit the job because of anxiety.

I don't know anyone else who can relate to my depression, shyness, self-harm, and anxiety, and developing a supportive friendship with her would help the both of us. But she no longer works with me. The only contact I have with her is on a social networking site, where I've occasionally messaged her about work-related things.

Is it possible to reach out to her and pursue a friendship, now that we no longer see each other? Or would it just seem awkward and out of place?
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ThinkingOutLoud
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Default Nov 22, 2009 at 02:24 AM
  #2
Definitely go for it! You just need that common ground where you meet halfway and are able to enjoy each other's company. Ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee or something sometime and see how it goes.
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lywilliams
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Default Nov 22, 2009 at 10:29 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamminpianogirl View Post
I have a question about friendship. I am very shy/quiet and I have a very hard time making friends, but there is someone I would really like to get to know. She and I used to work together, but she was also very quiet and we never really spoke to one another. At the time I thought I could tell that her withdrawal seemed to stem from depression, because she seemed to behave similar to me, but I didn't know how to reach out with my own lack of self-confidence and shyness. One day she came into work with a bandaged arm and had some excuse of what happened, but I think it might have been self-harm.

I took leave from work because of anxiety for a few months and stopped seeing her, but my boyfriend (he worked with me as well) told me that when he asked about the scars on her arms, she nearly cried and didn't really come up with an explanation. He also said she was going through a lot of stress with school and relationships.

I returned to work but never got to see her again; I was just informed that she quit the job because of anxiety.

I don't know anyone else who can relate to my depression, shyness, self-harm, and anxiety, and developing a supportive friendship with her would help the both of us. But she no longer works with me. The only contact I have with her is on a social networking site, where I've occasionally messaged her about work-related things.

Is it possible to reach out to her and pursue a friendship, now that we no longer see each other? Or would it just seem awkward and out of place?
What is the risk? I would definitely give her a call. She might really appreciate someone reaching out. What have you got to lose? http://www.helptalking.com
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Thanks for this!
Gabi925
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Default Nov 22, 2009 at 11:43 PM
  #4
(((jammin)))

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