[bethannaTN]

Does any one have any idea of where I could find a premarital conseling forum or on line group?

Thank you!!

[Jinsi]

Hi, I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for but it may be a good start ?
http://www.marriage-resources.com
Jinsi

Are you opposed to premarital counselling IRL?

Ry

[bethannaTN]

Yes and no. I am currently in bed flat on my back due to disc ruptures so I cannot physically GET to a counselor right now. But my fiance and I would like to start working on it. Both of us feel very comfortable with on line forums. Cost is also an issue, as treatment for my back has been VERY expensive.

Thanks! <font color="purple"> </font>

[gardenergirl]

Ouch! Sorry to hear about your back. Sounds like a creative approach for you. I hope you find something good.

gg

[Junerain]

It is refreshing to hear someone approaching marriage with realistic preparation and this says you will put the work in marriage, and it does take work. I am not married but I read a lot about this, you have a great chance of a lasting marriage!!

[misty]

Are you planning on being married by pastor, priest or minister? some times they do premarital counseling.

[dogtanian]

sorry to hear about your back. if you get married in church, i think most pastors do counselling prior to marriage as part of the service! my dad is a vicar here in england and he always always has several sessions with couples he marries. i think that's standard here but i can't speak for the states, i'm afraid.

good luck with the wedding, and hope your back improves! xx

[bethannaTN]

I checked this site out. It looks like a good option that we can do in steps and actually use different parts of the program to grow with us. It's a little pricey as opposed to going out and getting a book to follow. But I think my fiance and I are going to write to them and find out more about it
Thanks again.

[bethannaTN]

So far we have been recommended two books. One we are already currently reading together (The Truth about Love by
Pat Love, Ed.D. We changed how we are reading it, though, instead of reading it separately, we are going to start reading for thirty minutes together and then talk about what we read for thirty to forty five minutes two to three times a week. There was another book recommended to us as well, so I think, the books and the above series of tapes listed at the web site as the first answer to this post is a great start, and at least we can be doing SOMETHING while I am on my back. I have been on my back for two months now, and we are looking at at least three more weeks, and gentle movement for three or four more months. So, I'm encouraged with this. I really am.

We are both already active members in Alanon and CoDA which are wonderful relationship programs too.

[LMo]

Hi Bethanna -- congratulations on your engagement! Very exciting! I commend you for doing the work to ensure that you're going in with your eyes open. Divorce is not fun.

Here's a little something fun and kind of useful that you and your fiance can do online:

http://www.personalitypage.com/home.html

My husband and I did it before we got married (not as a premarital exercise -- just for fun) and took it to our therapist, where we discussed the results. It's not rocket science but it does uncover some intersting interpersonal tendencies.

[bethannaTN]

Both of us have been married before. Both of us are codependents and have been married to either alcoholics or drug addicts. So, we REALLY want to put that behind us and really work on our marriage starting TODAY. I don't think either of us want to go through the heart rending pain of divorce again. This may not be a guarentee, but it will certainly be something that will give us a better chance.

[bethannaTN]

Both of us are very spiritual, but neither of us are religious, so the officiant will probably not be clergy. But even so, I cannot physically get to counseling right now, and it will be a while before I can. It may be something we will do later, and definitely after we are married, but it isn't an option right now.

[bethannaTN]

Thank you for such kind wishes!! Hee, wouldn't it be great if clergy still did house calls!! I'd love that!! But you know, that might be a thought there. I would not be opposed of receiving premarital counseling from the clergy, and I don't think my fiance would either as long as it is sound thinking. Perhaps there would be a church that would be willing to do visits until I'm up and around again. I would like to have a third party that can give feed back on our communication styles.

hmmm..yes, I think I'll talk to my beau about it.

[bethannaTN]

Thank you!!! LOl!! We are often astounded at how much alike we are in temperament and communication styles. This will be very interesting to do and see what our difference are and similaties. This looks like a good starting point!

[gardenergirl]

Sounds like you have a good plan. I really like that idea of reading together and then talking about what you read. I may have to try that with my hubby. Hope you don't mind if I borrow your idea!

gg

[dogtanian]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Thank you for such kind wishes!! Hee, wouldn't it be great if clergy still did house calls!! I'd love that!! But you know, that might be a thought there. I would not be opposed of receiving premarital counseling from the clergy, and I don't think my fiance would either as long as it is sound thinking. Perhaps there would be a church that would be willing to do visits until I'm up and around again. I would like to have a third party that can give feed back on our communication styles.

hmmm..yes, I think I'll talk to my beau about it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

heh, some clergy are sensible as well as clergy my dad being one.

whatever you decide, best of luck with it all, it sounds like you deserve eachother (and i mean that in a nice way!!) go for it and i hope you are really happy! xxxx

[Raynaadi]

bump