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Old Nov 22, 2009, 01:58 AM
jamminpianogirl jamminpianogirl is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2008
Posts: 75
I have a question about friendship. I am very shy/quiet and I have a very hard time making friends, but there is someone I would really like to get to know. She and I used to work together, but she was also very quiet and we never really spoke to one another. At the time I thought I could tell that her withdrawal seemed to stem from depression, because she seemed to behave similar to me, but I didn't know how to reach out with my own lack of self-confidence and shyness. One day she came into work with a bandaged arm and had some excuse of what happened, but I think it might have been self-harm.

I took leave from work because of anxiety for a few months and stopped seeing her, but my boyfriend (he worked with me as well) told me that when he asked about the scars on her arms, she nearly cried and didn't really come up with an explanation. He also said she was going through a lot of stress with school and relationships.

I returned to work but never got to see her again; I was just informed that she quit the job because of anxiety.

I don't know anyone else who can relate to my depression, shyness, self-harm, and anxiety, and developing a supportive friendship with her would help the both of us. But she no longer works with me. The only contact I have with her is on a social networking site, where I've occasionally messaged her about work-related things.

Is it possible to reach out to her and pursue a friendship, now that we no longer see each other? Or would it just seem awkward and out of place?

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  #2  
Old Nov 22, 2009, 02:24 AM
ThinkingOutLoud's Avatar
ThinkingOutLoud ThinkingOutLoud is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2006
Posts: 17
Definitely go for it! You just need that common ground where you meet halfway and are able to enjoy each other's company. Ask her if she'd like to grab a cup of coffee or something sometime and see how it goes.
  #3  
Old Nov 22, 2009, 10:29 PM
lywilliams lywilliams is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamminpianogirl View Post
I have a question about friendship. I am very shy/quiet and I have a very hard time making friends, but there is someone I would really like to get to know. She and I used to work together, but she was also very quiet and we never really spoke to one another. At the time I thought I could tell that her withdrawal seemed to stem from depression, because she seemed to behave similar to me, but I didn't know how to reach out with my own lack of self-confidence and shyness. One day she came into work with a bandaged arm and had some excuse of what happened, but I think it might have been self-harm.

I took leave from work because of anxiety for a few months and stopped seeing her, but my boyfriend (he worked with me as well) told me that when he asked about the scars on her arms, she nearly cried and didn't really come up with an explanation. He also said she was going through a lot of stress with school and relationships.

I returned to work but never got to see her again; I was just informed that she quit the job because of anxiety.

I don't know anyone else who can relate to my depression, shyness, self-harm, and anxiety, and developing a supportive friendship with her would help the both of us. But she no longer works with me. The only contact I have with her is on a social networking site, where I've occasionally messaged her about work-related things.

Is it possible to reach out to her and pursue a friendship, now that we no longer see each other? Or would it just seem awkward and out of place?
What is the risk? I would definitely give her a call. She might really appreciate someone reaching out. What have you got to lose? http://www.helptalking.com
Thanks for this!
Gabi925
  #4  
Old Nov 22, 2009, 11:43 PM
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Miracle1986 Miracle1986 is offline
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Location: Lost in thought
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(((jammin)))
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