[Miracle1986]

My husband were talking last night, and I don't remember what I said.
It was something to the effect of "... I don't guys who..."

and he said, "Well I don't like girls who..." and there was silence.

I asked him what he was gonna say and he goes, "never mind I know it would either hurt your feelings or piss you off."

I told him, "No... go ahead and say it"

He said, "I don't like girls who don't put out."

At first I didn't know what he meant but then he said, "and I know you don't because one, your meds make you ubber not horny,
two I'm probably not all that good and three you hurt." (I have something wrong "down there" and doing it is too painful,
so before we did it last time, it had been more than a year.)

His words cut me like a knife. I feel like such a crappy wife!

[Rhapsody]

NO YOU are NOT a CRAPPY WIFE..... and if I was not such a lady I would have a few choice words to say to and about your husband right now.

Both men and women need to realize that while sex is an important part of a relationship it will never be the main part of a true loving relationship (and) If you do not mind me saying so I think your husband is being a jerk and it is he that is being selfish, not you - he should be down on his knees at this moment asking for your forgiveness.

Now... with that said and done - May I ask how painful or complicated having sex if for you? - I ask only to try and help

[Miracle1986]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

Now... with that said and done - May I ask how painful or complicated having sex if for you?

it is not complicated... but on a pain scale of 1-10, it is like a 9.5

[Tatyana2009]

Hi, Just read your note:
1. You are OK as you are. and I think your husband is too. Although what he said is hurtful. I have a feeling he feels insecure and 'not good enough' about himself for not having sex. You feel like there is something wrong with you. But all is OK.
2. I think you need to talk. Explain you love and cherish him and that you want him but you physically hurt. Its not because you do not love him, right?
3. Please please go and get yourself checked with the doctors. Sometimes there is a real physical reason why having sex is painful. You need to get that checked.
Stay cool xxx

[salukigirl]

It sounds like he didn't mean anything about you personally. I think if he did he wouldn't have caught himself right before saying it because he knew it would hurt you. There isn't anything wrong with you but there isn't anything wrong with him wanting sex either. Did you tell him that you were hurt by him saying that? I'm sure he knows but it might be helpful to bring it out in the open and ask exactly what he meant. Men, in general, are not as good at communicating as women and don't put as much effort into things like body language and tone - which women read into much more. Women are also typically more careful to choose words so that they get across exactly what they mean whereas guys usually just say what they're thinking and then think afterwards exactly how they meant it (no offense to men or women) that's just the difference in how we're raised and what society expects from us. So I think I would ask for specifics in what he meant. Don't think you are a horrible wife though. If you were a horrible wife, you wouldn't have come here to ask for help. You wouldn't care how you make him feel if you were horrible.