[Tatyana2009]

Hello,

I know some of you read my previous posts and thank you for your useful insights. I decided to post this because it has been bothering me for some time -

Some people / families get very touchy / tense over the holidays periods. I wonder why this is.

Also - and this takes us to today - I wonder why every year my fiance just does not want to do anything on new years eve. He would never make a suggestion or an effort to book anything on this eve and if I do - he makes sure I know that he tags along with no great enthusiasm... We had a discusion about this today - and he actually said he wants to do nothing and it means nothing to him. I wants to stay at home.

Its hard for me as for me this is an opportunity to celebrate, do something nice, be happy and enjoy.

Any insights?

(we probably will be going to a bar later just in case you wondered

P.S and Happy New Year to you all!!!!

Everyday presents an opportunity to celebrate, do something nice, be happy and enjoy.

Abuse of alcohol has played a prominent role in my life. Events occurring during the holidays still are the source of much emotion, mostly very negative. Therapists have correctly pointed out that was then; this is now. Just the same, my preference tends to small groups uninfluenced by alcohol. For me, January 1 is just another day.

Happy New Year to all.

[Tatyana2009]

Thanks! It never even occurred to me that this might be the reason! But it makes perfect sense.

I am sorry you feel that way. And yes- that was then and now is now but I can understand how someone can become sort of programmed almost... to avoid...

I guess what is strange for me is that even though he does not want to be out he would still drink at home (but maybe this is due to lack of awareness of the issue as only he recently he started admitting that his family has a problem with alcohol...)

Happy new year to you too!

[cutbuddie]

well my resistance to enjoy my birthday is that my cat died the day after last year and my father didn't tell me and my older sister till about the 23rd.

[Tatyana2009]

That is sad. And wrong of them not to tell you, but I am sure they were trying to protect you (they thought they were doing the right thing...)

It should not stop you from enjoying your birthday! Your birthday should be a celebration and I am sure your parents feel that way too!!

Things happen in life in all sorts of dates. My bf's mother died 2 days before his birthday when he was younger then you... It was difficult for him to celebrate his birthday but with love and closeness we celebrate and he is looking forward to it because of this.

I was once told a nice say: life throws all sorts of misery and it up to you the make the happy times!