Adult Children

Splash, thank you so much for your input. Yes, I have been in the same situation in the work place too, people just want to find someone who agrees with them. I do think that your insight into the wanting more discussion is true as my son lost his father at 17 and there are a lot of issues in that alone. I know that he maybe sometimes feels guilty with the relationship with my new husband and trys to spoil it in the fact that he feels disloyal and then my husband does the same in feelings that he doesn't meet up to my son's father. Also, there is I think alot of jealously going on with two strong male egos..yes or no? I know I am rambling but these are all the thoughts I have been having.

hi Laura,
you're welcome.

it's really difficult to speculate on how people are feeling or why they do certain things without having the benefit of knowing them. And even then, it's not easy. in my life, people aren't always tuned into how i'm feeling unless i tell them. one of my mom's favorite phrases is, "penny for your thoughts." i was an enigmatic child, and i still am quite a mystery as an adult (so i've been told on more than one occasion). i attribute it to my keeping to myself. all my feelings, thoughts, ideas...i'm a very inward person.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that, in my opinion, the only way one person can know what another person feels or thinks is to have sincere, open dialogue. it's one of the ways we grow in our relationships. it sounds like it might be important for your son to say what his feelings are toward his relationship with your husband (feeling disloyal to his father?) and for your husband to say how he feels. it's easy for us to tell him that he shouldn't compare himself to your son's father, that he should just be himself and have that kind of relationship with his stepson. you mentioned jealousy. how so?

...and, you can ramble all you want. that's what this place is for.

take care,

splash