huge issues with my mother

heres how i see my relationship with my mother. she is brainwashed and is trying to push it onto me, and i refused to be brainwash and am fighting a losing battle... let me start from the beginning

whenever her and i talk about school, were on completely different continents. she thinks schoolwork should just be done and completed. thats it. whenever i tell her that i do not agree with her at all, and that i would like to learn something at school, she shuts down, stops talking about it and storms off in some other direction, and refuses to talk about my side. just the other day she discussed taking a course in graphic arts 'just to get the bachelor degree.' i thought it would be a good time to discuss how i was thinking of going to a film school to become a director. she said no you dont want to do that, shut down, yelled at me, and then read her book, refusing to talk about it. this is no exageration either, this just happened two days ago.

first off, i am extremely insulted that my own mother would tell me that learning is not important, and that i should not do what i want as a career. she would rather push her views of doing things the way a book tells me and that i should just get a bachelor degree so i can get a job, not the job i want. however, i cannot discuss this with her because she refuses to see another side, she is set in her way.

i am lost, i do not know what to do, and i cannot talk with my mother about school. i am putting myself through school, but she has this sick perverted view that she controls my future and that i should bend to her will, and i am at a brick wall. i am just tired of fighting her, what can do i to make her listen to me?

She might have regrets about her own life and she's super-imposing those on you. It's a very tough economy out there and she probably wants you to stick with careers that will give you stabliity. She's actually acting out of fear - fear that you're going to struggle financially. You think she doesn't understand you(that's how it's coming across) but actually she's reacting out of fear for you and regrets about her own choices. Maybe you should speak with career counselors where you'll get a more objective opinion.

You said you are putting yourself through school. Are you living at home while going to school? If so, are you concerned you will be asked to leave if you attend a film school?

Having a job you enjoy is an integral part of a meaningful life. Having respect for the opinions and advice of a parent is important. Being dictated to complicates matters immensely.

My thought is for you to follow your dream. Be respectful to you mother. Perhaps at some point she will see how important your dream is to you.

Good luck.

You know...this is the second time this week I have heard this and can't believe it. Mainly because my parents have always said they were proud of me, that I am an excellent student and have supported me no matter what I wanted to do (through all my major changes lol). So it seems odd to me that a parent would actually oppose education.

But as I put in another thread of mine, my uncle gave me crap for going to grad schol because I am "putting money into the system". He thinks that education is for hoity-toity people who wont ever make any money. He thinks that you should just get out, get a job and move up in a company to make money.

I do agree that maybe she feels bad that she didn't accomplish what she wanted. Sounds bad that a parent could be jealous of their kids but its possible.

Bottom line, its your life and your decision. If you want to continue your education then more power to you. Your mother doesn't have to be happy with it because she's not the one going to class and LEARNING. I can't be out of school or academia for more than summer break because I just feel like I'm getting dumber lol I have to be in that environment to feel like I'm learning something and challenging myself. That might not work for everyone but if it works for you then your mom needs to just deal with it.

Maybe she wont just talk and you need to play these games that she does to make her understand? Next time she brings up a class just walk away. Maybe she'll realize how it feels to have someone important in your life not care about something important to her. Sometimes people like that need a dose of their own medicine to see how they're treating others.

Hi guys, sorry I haven't replied to this. Anyways, I talked to her about her attitude, and hopefully that will solve some problems. Now I just need to work on the college bit, and for that i need hard numbers. wish me luck.

Good luck.