[SophiaG]

Lately, I've noticed that I've become unable to form deep emotional relationships with others.

I pass, from one person to the next....and when they intellectually bore me I just find someone else to talk to.

There seems to be something wrong with this. I dont feel close to my best friends anymore...and feel unable to make new friendships.

Both my grandparents on my dad's side have died in the past few years, as well as my best friend. I suffered from a mental breakdown, a deep depression in the same time-frame. I was also in a relationship with someone with who had the effect of turning me slowly cold towards people, whereas before I was warm and kind. I feel cold inside. Unable to connect. It bothers me.

I liken it to a person who wants to cry, but cant. I want to have a deep emotional connection with others but ...It seems like I have lost that ability. And now i'm afraid...that if...I cant emotionally connect with others that I'll begin to treat them cruely, because what is left when you cannot connect? Intellectual Stimulation? Manipulating people to get what you want?

It bothers me I feel numb, but I don't think there is anything I can do about it.

I recently broke a boy's heart because I couldnt feel anything towards him in the way of emotional attachment.

I don't really talk to my family much either...

I'm not sure what's wrong.

I know my dad has anti social personality disorder and I half wonder if my brain is developing (because i'm only 21 right now) in a way that is similar to my dad's. I'm not sure what's going on.

Is it trauma? Is it a mood? Is my brain changing because of all the stuff i've been through lately?

What is this? :l

What would be a good way for you to find out what is wrong?