[ichiro3]

I can't seem to escape a certain kind of person and I'm trying to break a cycle and I don't know how. On the other hand, these are frequently co-workers, so I frequently have no choice. But it seems that over the last decade, in particular, my intimate relationships, friendships, and acquaintances are neurotic, depressed, deluded, obsessive, selfish, self-absorbed, and so on. In the end, my patience is taxed and exhausted and I'm on the receiving end of a various forms of dishonesty, usually of the emotional type.

For example, my 7 yr. relationship with my girlfriend just ended. She was definitely an energy vampire and very negative in her outlook. She had a depression problem and frequently perceived herself as powerless when that was far from the truth. I knocked myself out trying to be supportive, although I could be less than patient with her inflexibility and negativity. For her, my temper was an issue which was a legitimate concern. I'm basically an introverted, laid back, polite person, but I can get withdrawn when I'm pissed and, when angered, I'm not the most tactful, diplomatic person in the world. But the constant victim psychology started to really get old with me and I presently don't have a lot of respect for her. I feel drained and used in many ways.

My friendships, acquaintances with men, in general, have been lacking in recent years. There's too much required babysitting for what should be grown-*** men. It's way too laborious and really fulfilling.

My question is how do these people continuously get in my orbit? I'm genuinely curious. Again, I'm more of an aloof person. People often describe me as intimidating until they get to know me. But right now, I'm extremely wary of people.
I want well-adjusted, honest, evolving, reciprocating people in my life and can't find them. Sorry for the long post, but I'm really at a crossroads and socially unhappy. I'd value any input. Thanks.

Hello, ichiro3. To me the overarching issue is why would you stay in an unfulfilling relationship for seven years. It appears these relationships fill a need you have, whether healthy or not.

My thought is you would benefit from therapy to sort this out.