 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Mar 02, 2010, 11:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Seriously now i have my anger problem... and if i dont let go ill have it accumulate and hurt whoever come across me.
My family members r all having problem, bipolar, depression, anger, ADHD, isolation or whatever u can name it... u can see it... the problem is.. they dont see their problem.... n i see my problem and i got so frustrated when i try to confront my problems, ill have to deal with their problem too who try to influence me and torture me in many ways.... when i have no way to go to... i developed frustration and later Anger... sighhhhhhhh My Mum she is having a menopause now that make things worse than ever, she enjoyed to torture me mentally. My friend came to visit, so ill take off from her to bring my friend around, but once i go back to work ... she will torture me with extra workload, and said something so hard for me to digest... and ended up with more self harm than ever. sat and sun i am not allow to go out because i have to work for her, if i do go out, she will start her poison again to make me feel guilty of going out, ruin my day, which i often ended up sstaying in the house locking myself in my room.... yeah this develop my isolation problem !!!! and worse she always said she dont have friends... so do she mean i cannot have friends too? she always said she dont go out... so do she mean i dont have to go out too... and so on.... what she dont get to do... i am not allow to do! and this only applicable to ME the DAUGHTER, she praised her son for going out, for having friends, for knowing where to dine for good food... and when i show them some place for good food, she will said i dont know how to eat it, i dont eat those expensive food, and etc... although it is the same restaurant as what my brother brought her to.... now that she is a menopause woman, she got her mood swing more than ever, one day she support dad's new business plan, and tomorrow she will start condeming... i dont mind if she at war with dad.... but she just at war with me!!! since dad needed my help! so much more that i dont know how to cope with... i am so tired of her... My Dad he is the mastermind of everything from my pity life to my relationship life to my future life... everything is in his control... i cannot have my own thinking or ill faced judgement! his ego over ruled him, and what he always said is right and what we always said is wrong... if he said A u have to follow him to A and so on.... even what i studied was controlled by him, and few days ago i hinted of going to take up travel working visa to a certain country, he immediately said it useless, and not save! he said who knows what going to happen n etc... im 24... i still have to ask permission to go out.. is this the life of ASIAN? My Brother (elder) - isolation problem - anti social - depression - anger My brother is the most anti social people i ever see, although mum is anti social but he is the worse of the worse.... although i hate to mix around with human, but my different personalities help me deal with it.... but my brother, he dont even bother to deal with his own cousins, he dont talk with them and such, he just alone in his own pity world and his wife... thats all he have.. he dont even have friends too... can u believe it? i dont have alot of real life friends but i do have tones of online friends that we chat n laugh together with but my brother is just a total opposite... he hated someone he just hate them and will do whatever to get them... sigh... i lived with him for 2 years... was a real torture, as i have to go along his wave to avoid any arguement and such... since im living in his house... i regretted of coming home to stay with my parents as they r real problem too, but i didnt regret of living my bro's house as i know it will make my problem worse.... i know my bro was badly neglected by my parents... especially my dad... but who dont? me too until the age of 9 when we (me n younger bro) started moving to dad... but bro stay till age 16 before he move in.... but at least since young they have the love of mum... but i dont have... my mum simply hate me since young, and she only buy tibits for her son n not me... yeah i can remember alot since i have good childhood memories.... n she neglect everything from love to study... i just dont received much... and i was left being torture and bullied by my cousins... so why do he develop his depression i seriously dont know... sigh he is a very selfish person too.... My Younger bro the most dangerous person in the world! he have 2 faces.... the most shocking thing was he told my cousins (little on) and laughing behind me that im a fat.... that i am ugly, and useless... how much hurt do he wanted to place on me? i am very close to my little cousins so they told me about it, when i knew ... i just speechless and do not know what to do.... i once hinted that to my dad but i totally got ignore.... i am his sister but he never ever show any respect towards me.... he treated me like a dirt, and only when he needed help he will come to me... if not ... im simply invisible to him... when i asked him for help... it will in exhange of fav... or when he have argue with his gf he will be my driver ... hahah.. .......... P.s i do not know where to put this post... but i really need to rant it... or ill be dead.... from explosion....
__________________
A Shocking News: It seems to me that being a daughter or better a female have no value in the society I'm Living in. What shocked me on 4 Jan 2010 hurt me so badly that now there will have nothing to stop me from leaving this Earth. I used to think that I created the story of parents hating me, but it finally confirm on 4 Jan 2010. I get to know it from the neighbour, he was told by my dad that I am a girl which eventually will marry and leave the home, so whatever things also he wont inherit it to me. (I'm fine with it, but what sadden me was this is how my dad think, and my mum agrees with it) I hold my tears until i reached home, showed tantrum and slammed the door, and was questioned by my dad. But i can't tell the truth, because i know what he capable of doing. I cried and cried, praying to god to end my life, or let me straight jackpot, and so i can offically leave this home without them looking down on me.. just because i am a Female, a Daughter, A Sister. -------------------------------------------- I fear soon i become the abuser myself... I fear of not able to control myself and repeat the footstep of those abusing me  I used to think of marriage and have my own family, but now I fear i will abuse my own child.. and choose not to have child... why let them suffer when i know how it feel....
|
|
#2
Mar 03, 2010, 06:55 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hello, Persey. I am sorry you are being treated so badly.
Is getting you own place an option? Can you get a job and support yourself? |
|
#3
Mar 03, 2010, 11:11 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
A Shocking News: It seems to me that being a daughter or better a female have no value in the society I'm Living in. What shocked me on 4 Jan 2010 hurt me so badly that now there will have nothing to stop me from leaving this Earth. I used to think that I created the story of parents hating me, but it finally confirm on 4 Jan 2010. I get to know it from the neighbour, he was told by my dad that I am a girl which eventually will marry and leave the home, so whatever things also he wont inherit it to me. (I'm fine with it, but what sadden me was this is how my dad think, and my mum agrees with it) I hold my tears until i reached home, showed tantrum and slammed the door, and was questioned by my dad. But i can't tell the truth, because i know what he capable of doing. I cried and cried, praying to god to end my life, or let me straight jackpot, and so i can offically leave this home without them looking down on me.. just because i am a Female, a Daughter, A Sister. -------------------------------------------- I fear soon i become the abuser myself... I fear of not able to control myself and repeat the footstep of those abusing me I used to think of marriage and have my own family, but now I fear i will abuse my own child.. and choose not to have child... why let them suffer when i know how it feel....
|
|
#4
Mar 03, 2010, 03:42 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
What would happen if you just went?
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
