[fedupbuthopefull]

A week ago or so my girlfriend was told of the death of her first boyfriend. They had been going out for several years when he presented a ring and asked for her hand in marriage. She declined. They separated , eventually loosing contact. Two years ago they re connected taking up the friendship again, but this time both were married and friends it would remain they agreed. His feelings for her though had all come back . It was too much for her forcing him away and he was heartbroken a second time.
Last week,1 and 1/2 yrs. later, she gets a call telling her that he was found in his home, clutching in his hand , a poem she had written him .
In the letter he had left he said that if he couldn't be with the woman he loved so much, that life was not worth living. He killed himself because he could not have her. My God,this is so horrific I can't even begin......
Her reaction was to have what I can only describe as an emotional breakdown. She immediately turned against me...I could do or say no right, but I didn't know why i was being rejected . She didn't tell me for a few days and by the time it came out, I was the bad guy. I was "adding undue pressure after all that had happened" . I'm out..a casualty.
Dealing with her . wanting to say the right things..how in the world could I save what we have? I have so much compassion for her and she is telling me to leave her alone,has blocked me in email and will not talk.
I know how torn up she is. I am heartbroken too.
As much as I want to and am doing the right thing and staying away, I have to say that she is showing no care at all for me and I resent it.
I know that the grieving process can make no sense to others and has to play out and it isn't about me, but her behavior is in humane.
As much as I am hurting for her I am also feeling angry at her coldness . What can be said or done for her? Am I so wrong for my honest feelings? I will not tell her or bring shame to her..no.I love her completely. I am using this forum only. What advise is there? Please..

Hello, fedupbuthopefull. She has made it very clear you are "adding undue pressure after all that had happened." You do not have to agree. It does not have to be true. It does not have to be right. It does not have to be fair.

Nonetheless, you will have to deal with this, because that is just the way it is.

Good luck.