[Jenn1fer82]

I've dated my bf for a year now and there's a topic that I feel he doesn't understand the extent of it.

The day before he goes to work he goes out with his buddies and is out all night drinking. He promised me once before that especially on the day before he goes back to work he won't get drunk. Last night he did it again. I woke up in the middle of the night around 3am and he's still not home. The next day he has work at 8am. I worry about how he's going to feel with a hangover, on the job alertness and keeping his job. This is the second time that its happen and the first time I was so mad. He promised he won't do this again. Well last night he showed me his promise doesn't mean anything. He didn't come home until close to 5am. We live together and as of now I'm not talking to him and very distance.

Situations like this really hit me hard because I lived with an alcoholic all my life. My dad is what you would consider as a functional drunk. A 12 pack of Bud Light a day is a normal thing for him, its expected actually. Being picked up from school when I was young and having to smell his drunkenness and his face flushed red was my daily routine as a child. I know that people like me are more likely to find men who love to drink so I'm more aware of my surrounding when it comes to drinking. My own control with drinking isn't that great either. I can't tell when I'm drunk. I'm reckless so I stay away from it all. I don't want to become a statistic.

My boyfriend doesn't understand my sensitivity when it comes to drinking.

[ECHOES]

Are you in therapy to help you with your drinking?
Therapy can help you look at the reasons for your drinking, and for your choosing to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

It is familiar to you. We naturally go with what is familiar. But is it healthy?

You don't have to live this life. You don't have to live the life that is quoted in statistics. You can choose something else. You can choose to focus on you and your issues and wait for someone who will earn your respect and love.

[El-ahrairah]

perhaps you should tell him why you don't like it?
Just try communicating more, ignoring him and the issue on why you're mad isn't a solution and only adds to more problems.

People aren't mind readers so some communication and one on one talk time can do wonders for relationships. Trust me I'm sure he will understand that once you talk to him about it and if he doesn't and doesn't respect that then I guess you should find someone who would.

A lot of people like to drink and have fun but there should be a responsible limit to that like not drinking a lot and being out late when you have work the next day...

How often does your friend get drunk, Jenn1fer82? Does he binge drink, or is his drinking more like your Dad's? Has ever gotten violent with you?

With what you know, there are some red flags already. Please be careful.