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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 530
19 |
Jul 16, 2005 at 12:52 PM
#1
As many of you know...my parents moved out of state in reaction to my reconciliation w/husband....We're doing great....and I keep thinking that I've got the "mother thing" under control....but she is now calling me, clearly wanting personal contact, and guys...I just don't want it right now....I took the kids to visit last weekend...but she's reaching out (not to mention trying to push buttons)...I don't want to deprive the children in any way..but I'm not certain that I can handle this situation...Is it an unforgivable sin to realize that you're happier w/out contact w/parents?...What do I do to be fair to all involved?....She's just plain toxic to me....and I don't want to go there again.....
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
18 1,580 hugs
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Jul 16, 2005 at 01:08 PM
#2
Mac...my dad is deceased, but my mother is toxic to me also. I try to refrain from visiting as much as I can, though now she wants my presence, and thinks of us as always having had a loving relationship...NOT!!!
I think if you are happy and your children are happy also, and visiting MOM upsets you, then you too should avoid contact. I know, I KNOW, it's very hard to detach, and nearly impossible to detach completely...not suggesting that, but it seems in your case, distance is a good thing. Seeker |
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Posts: n/a
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Jul 16, 2005 at 05:56 PM
#3
no,it's not wrong and you're not bad.....it's called self-preservation.....that's it, simple and strong. my mom pushed all my buttons, for years and years, and i finally learned that i would never please her. then she ended up, bedridden, and i became her caregiver (i wanted to) and things changed, somewhat. don't feel guilty, please.......xoxoxoxo pat
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 530
19 |
Jul 16, 2005 at 07:01 PM
#4
a most humble gracias
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