[inkblot]

Angry, sad, I don't know what I feel. My ex-husband is screwing with my life! (STILL/AGAIN/CONTINUOUSLY!) He is starting to take the kids away from me again. He changed my schedule with the kids the past weekend and only let me see them for 3 hours on Saturday. That totally screwed up my all day plans for them on Saturday and then Sunday. He said the kids were going on a trip with his girlfriend/fiance on Saturday and then on Sunday he wanted to take them to church. I got an email from him today that I won't be able to see the kids for my weekend in two weeks, so the next visit will be (unless he changes his mind again) in mid-August! Plus, he plan to sell my car--he and I were joint owners buying the car before we divorced. He wants it off his credit before he gets remarried. What bank is going to let me refinance a car loan when I have spent a lot of time unemployed, worked two-1/2 months before losing the job. I am unemployed now, so any new loan applications are going to require a job. I got one in last week before I was given my official notice at work, but I haven't heard back yet. With my credit history, I don't expect it to go through--epspecially if they call my now-former employer to verify employment! I explained my situation to the guy at the bank and he was very sympathetic. He worked it his best to be in my advantage, but I could see he had a worried expression when I left. He was sweet and seemed very caring and understanding. After receiving this one email from my ex this morning, I don't have very nice words going through my mind today! He is slowly killing me! Why do I bother to pretend what life I want to have, being a mom to my kids, financially stable--why do I pretend that I belong in in these people's lives? Why can't I take off somewhere and just disappear out of existance? If stress from him gets too bad, how do I know it won't literally kill me--or that I wouldn't take it out on him in some way? The man (that's an OVERstatement!) abused me during marriage and still after.