[UCLAFan]

i grew up with 2 parents who where physically and mental abusive.plus my older sister mentally abused me.i was told by my mom,dad and sister growing up that i was stupid,ugly,fat,worthless,no man would ever want me and that i would never amount to anything etc.i am a grown adult who has problems with relationships.whenever things don't go well with men i start to think maybe my family was right.i feel ugly a lot of the time.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I grew up with a mother who thought abuse was discipline. She called me "Mental, stupid, crazy" accused me of throwing myself around the house and deliberately hurting myself on the furniture.

Turned out I had uncontrolled epilepsy that went away for a few years then came back and hit me with one bad siezure then went away again until I was 40, at which time it was properly diagnosed. When I asked her "Hey mum you remember telling me I threw myself around and I thought you were mad because I didn't remember it? It's epilepsy and it's back" She didn't bat an eyelid and said "Oh!". No apology, no "sorry I was wrong" nothing.

She is a vicious nasty individual who only has time for alcohol and her youngest daughter who is a drug addict...sound a bit bitter? I guess I am really. I was sexually abused at 3yrs of age by 3 men. My parents took me to the doc who said "Don't talk about it she's young she'll forget it. He said that in front of me and to this day I still remember everything. When I was in my late 20's I finally told her I remembered everything and never forgot her response was "What about me?"...

I don't speak to any of them now...I found more peace in walking away than I could have imagined. I'm still working through my feelings but they are much better than they were...if only my dad had not died...that family would have had a chance at being half normal....

I feel sorry for you Fan, because I had a great dad and a nutter of a mum....the one who brought me up died just before my dad did..that was my grandmother...oops now I'm crying gotta go

May you both find peace.

[NuckingFutz]

Sometimes you just have to walk away and find a group of people who care and understand you. It is still difficult. And say, maybe there is some kind of Nazi book of awful sayings to tell your kids because some of what you said was said to me verbatim.

[UCLAFan]

i did not talk to my father for 20 years and then he died 5 or 6 years ago.did not talk to my mom for 2 years.but it is still effecting my life.where i have lived for the past 17 years i have been in relationships and friends that where mean to me and treated me as bad as my family has.last few years become a lonier.sick of putting up with peoples bs.

UCLAFan, is seeking professional help an option. The abuse remains a formidable adversary in your life. Maybe it is time to work through it?

[UCLAFan]

i had counseling for 3 years.then the the state i lived in stopped paying for counseling at the start of this year.

[(JD)]

I'm sorry. It takes many positive thoughts to counter all those years of negative, abusive ones. Just because they were consistently abusive doesn't mean they were right. Hang tough.

[UCLAFan]

i'm hanging in there.but some days are rough.

((((( UCLAFan )))))