[ARiver]

Help!!! I am struggling with my relationshiop I suffer from bio polar and depression and I will be seeing a T for the first time this coming week. In the mean time my partner has told me that they need time away from me they can not take this rollar coaster that I have been on.
They have been hurt so bad by episodes that it has torn pieces away from their heart. My heart is breaking sooo bad because I love them sooo very much and I don't want our relationship to end. God I don't want it to end!!!! I see them getting up and leaving to out and do things and it just kills me inside. I don't mind them going out if I felt more stable in the relationship.

I have no friends and I mean NO FRIENDS!! all of my family has passed away, the friends or people I knew where from a previous marriage and they all have disapeared. I lost my job after 10 years and I am in a financial slump. I am alone all the time I don't do bars I tried church and counciling at church a while ago until I heard all my personal buisness being spread through out the church needless to say I stopped going it discouaged me.

How do I meet people?? and where??? what can I do to repair the damage that I have caused??

My partner told me this morning that they don't know if this time me trying to get better is just a manipulataion. That HURT me because in the past I never made an attempt to get out side help and this time I did and I did it on my own because I do want to get better. My partner has always been so good to me never hurtful or abusive.

I am so afraid of lossing it. I feel so abondanded and I no one else to turn too I am so alone. gosh!!! I am crying so hard right now that I am sure this all sounds confusing, I am sorry, I just don't know where else to turn!!!!!!!!!

April

[CedarS]

I can relate to some of what you are saying, I know about feeling all alone.

Sounds overwhelming what you are experiencing. Maybe try slowing yourself down, focus on fun things whether entertaining TV or hobbies that are low stress. Eat well, try to get regular sleep. Maybe write and vent in a journal.

You have a T appointment, that is wonderful. You are taking excellent steps on your journey to taking good care of yourself. The T can help you sort out challenges you want to work on, help you set priorities, help you figure out the steps to take for the eventual goal.

My suggestion is to make this time for you. Do good things for yourself.

Good luck,
Sarah

feeling alone, really hurts. i'm so sorry that you're experiencing that now. it's really great that you're going to see a T. i think that will help you. tell the T what you've told us.....xoxo pat

[seeker1950]

Hi, April, and welcome!
I like Sarah's advice to you about slowing down and doing relaxing and enjoyable things. I have been doing that myself: enjoying a movie, crocheting, all non-productive things, and though I tell myself I need to be working instead, it has been a long time that I could not relax, so now, even though it feels a bit lazy, it is helpful and comforting.
I also once had the experience of going to a minister who also had a degree in counseling, only to have it spread all over the church population. Very discouraging. I'm glad you made an appt. with a real therapist.
Seeker