[Indie'sOK]

I have (had) a friend on Facebook who I previously really liked and enjoyed talking to. But today when I posted that I was having trouble sleeping due to my messed up sleep cycle (I stay up late at night), she asked me if I was on prescription meds. I said yes (paxil), and this is what she had to say:

Her: You're just a 'child'. sorry...you shouldn't be struggling with sleep. Are you taking scrip meds?!?!?

Me: Yeah, but I'm sure it's because my sleep cycle is messed up from staying up so late

Her: Um....I got loads to say. How about you do some research. Please!!!! I'll TRY and leave it at that. haha I believe a thousand percent you should NOT be on those. Detox off of them and you're going to be able to recover and find a better way. Yes, the annoying "mother" speaks!! lol

Me: I have an anxiety disorder. I have to be on them. They have helped me and I have had no side effects. Through the school year I sleep fine. I'm sorry, but you don't know my situation.

Her: NO you do NOT have to be on them! A good amount of processed foods cause this (if not all in ppl). in MOST of the population. Nope, I don't know your situation. BUT I'm very educated in this area. : ) I'm not trying to "poke" you. Just I see a young girl that has true potential that it could be delayed. Yeah, you can always delete me if I say something you don't like. : )

Me: Are you serious? You don't even know what causes my anxiety! Would you tell a diabetic to stop taking their medication? That is messed up.

Yes I know I tend to fly off the handle, but this is crazy. I deleted her.

[KeepHoldingOn]

I think you did the right thing. Your doctor definitely knows better than that person.

[googley]

It is so hard when other people try to judge us based on what we have going on without knowing the whole situation. I'm really sorry you had to experience this Indie. I agree that you made a good decision to not allow that person to tell you what to do. Your doctor and parents are a much better source of information.

[Belle1979]

I think you did the right thing....
it's like when my mother says to me that people shouldn't be 'proud' to be an anti-depressants.. myself and my brother in law are not PROUD to be on them but we also recognise that we were both STRONG enough to get help when help was needed.... Her (my mum) saying that it's an embrassment to be on medication... just discourages poeple from asking for help.

Everyone is allowed to have their opinions.. but sometimes they should just keep them to themselves imo.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello Indie,

One thing that happens when someone who claims to be "very well educated in this area" is that they badmouth everything else that they don't believe in or support. They are very full of their own importance and they're hung up on insisting people "Have to" listen to their every word and follow their educated advice.

Not everyone is adversely affected by processed foods (although personally I refuse to eat them), and even those who are affected tend to have to detox for a number of years before their body and brain return to a balanced system and the added chemicals are completely out of the body..it doesn't happen in a 2 week detox program...you have to continue the program until you know your body and mind are OK and in balance.

You must follow what you feel comfortable with. I personally know how you feel because I go to bed at all different hours and never sleep over a certain number of hours. Also if I didn't have depression meds I probably wouldn't be here now...

It's ok for people to offer advice and support but to tell you what you HAVE to do and that you HAVE to listen to them because they are educated is the height of arrogance educated doesn't mean intuitively intelligent...

Rhiannon

[perpetuallysad]

Good for you!! I would have deleted her too. How presumptuous of her!!! I am proud of you for telling her off.

Arg.

[sanityseeker]

She crossed the line no question. She was being beyond annoying.... totally insensitive.

I just want to add that I agree with Belle. It takes a strong person to ask for help when help is needed. I am not one of the strong ones.

Be well, Indie'sOK.

I think you did the right thing. What she posted were some very ignorant comments. She has no right to be telling you what to do, she's not a doctor. And she probably doesn't suffer from anxiety issues either.

[Perna]

Anyone who started with "just" a child. . . would have gotten short shrift from me.

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you so much everyone. I really did not see this coming since she seemed alright to me before. But she crossed the line, and I'm not going to take that. Thanks again

[sanityseeker]

A good rule I follow with people who babble across the line now and then is that if it doesn't apply then just don't own it. Brush it off. It is her issue not yours. If there are other qualities about her that you like and enjoy then consider if you need to cut her off completely or just let this one slide. Her intentions were likely good even if her opinion and advice don't fit.

[Indie'sOK]

She was a good friend before this happened, and a part of me misses that, but I think she's pretty angry at me for deleting her off my friends page - she sent me a message like "nice....you took me off your page." or something like that. I just want to move on and not let this affect me.

[sanityseeker]

I think it is wise of you to move on but unfortunately it has already affecting you and that can't be taken back. Do what you think is best for you Indie. You are who matters.

She may well be upset but she brought it on herself by talking out of turn. If you were to have more contact with her, and I am not encouraging you one way or another, sharing how her words crossed the line with you might spare the next person she offers unsolicited advice to and will definately set a boundary for her with any future contact with you.

Again, not encouraging you one way or another except to do what you feel is right for you Indie. I think it just depends on how well you are able to let it go and move on.

Like her unsolicited advice, ignore my comments if they don't fit for you in this particular situation. If it doesn't fit bush it off.

Hope this isn't ruining your day. Take good care.

[Indie'sOK]

Thanks Sanity I'm going to leave it as is..I think if I were to tell her how this made me feel she would just go off again.

[sanityseeker]

You are probably right. Some people just don't know when to stiffle. lol. No doubt you have lots of other facebook friends to fill the void. I have made some awesome friends there through the gardening groups I have joined. Even connected with one who lives just 30 minutes up the road from me. We have yet to meet in person but one of these days we will. I have made friends with gardeners all over the world. Should I ever get the travel bug I will have no trouble finding tour guides.

Hope you are having a good day.

[marjan]

you did a right thing....she's not a friend really....plus if I were you, I would not have shared such an information on FB....that's why I don't like FB....I just keep my FB like a contact directory....I don't write anything on my status....no need for so many reply....argggg

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I think she's pretty angry at me for deleting her off my friends page - she sent me a message like "nice....you took me off your page." or something like that.

Didn't she say that if you were not happy with it you could delete her? Fact is that is your decision too, not hers...she offers you permission to delete her...then complains because you exercise your own personal free will...

Rhiannon

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Didn't she say that if you were not happy with it you could delete her? Fact is that is your decision too, not hers...she offers you permission to delete her...then complains because you exercise your own personal free will...

Rhiannon

Yes I noticed that too. She said she wouldn't care if I deleted her, but this tells me that she really does. I'm pretty much over this by now, and reconsidering whether I should be on facebook anymore.

[Melbadaze]

There is some truth in what your friend said, thats the problem with putting stuff out there on FB its open to other peoples interpretations, perhaps she really meant well, didnt like to see a friend taking chemicals?

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Yes I noticed that too. She said she wouldn't care if I deleted her, but this tells me that she really does. I'm pretty much over this by now, and reconsidering whether I should be on facebook anymore.

you don't have to eliminate yourself from facebook, just because of one bad incident.....
you could have put privacy on her account and not deleting her at all....

[pegasus]

(((((((( Indie ))))))))

I think your friend had the best intentions but did not realize that Paxil is infact an antidepressant prescribed by your Doctor. One of the side effects is infact insomnia! If you are having trouble sleeping Indie please let your Doctor know.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by pegasus

(((((((( Indie ))))))))

I think your friend had the best intentions but did not realize that Paxil is infact an antidepressant prescribed by your Doctor. One of the side effects is infact insomnia! If you are having trouble sleeping Indie please let your Doctor know.

Thanks Pegs. I don't attribute my (occasional) insomnia to Paxil, though, because 9 nights out of 10 I'll sleep just fine. This would happen before I went on the pills. I've been on them nearly a year with no side effects. Even if this was caused by the meds the pros much outweigh the cons

[lynn P.]

I also think you did the right thing Indie and she did overstep her boundaries. I agree with someone else who said it's better not to get into a discussion where you feel you have to defend yourself but I understand you're still learning to set boundaries. When I was your age I didn't know how to put a stop to someone like this. Now that I'm older I'm much better at protecting myself.

Regarding Facebook - I don't like it at all. I find it to be a place for criticism and bullying especially for teenagers - it's encourages clique's. I feel it makes people vulnerable to criticism.

[bruinelle]

whoa...that "friend" sounded very condescending. to top it off, she's not a medical doctor or a licensed psychologist, right? how would she know? she's stepping into tom cruise territory right there.