What makes us.....

i am taking this from Miss_A's post on being a bad kid...
I read her post and kinda lashed out at her for hitting her mom.. I don't feel that hitting is the solution for any problem. I rarely spank my children, coming from a house where being hit by a belt was as common as tying your shoes. I thought my response was ok... but maybe it wasnt..There have been some posts saying that she is just a spoiled teenager... spoiled teenager... hmm. I would have to agree some of her behavior is a little dangerous, but havent we all done things that we wished later that we hadn't done? I mean if she is not getting the proper guidance from her parents, then how will she know how to act.. Her parents should be the ones telling her and showing her by example, right?

I know that this maybe touchy, and if it offends anyone i am sorry.
But what makes us mark someone as spoiled?
Think about it, arent we all just a little spoiled?
I know that I am! I am spoiled! If i weren able to get in the car and drive myself to the store, i would pitch a fit! Isnt that being spoiled? If I couldnt watch my show on tv, i would pout. Isnt that being spoiled?

Maybe i am just seeing this different than I did yesterday. Maybe i am totally wrong.

Again if this offends anyone, i apologize

Good post, Mrb...
I too was hit DAILY while growing up as a child, and well into college years! As a parent, I never once hit my daughter. I just chose to be a different kind of parent, resorting to reasoning rather than corporal punishment. She and I have always had a wonderful relationship, and still do today.
Spoiled by our surrounding, our convenient life, is different than being spoiled to the extent of hitting the ones who love and protect us, in my opinion. There is never an acceptable excuse for hitting.
Seeker

Definitely a good post. I have learned with my animals besides with children is that they are only as spoiled as we let them be. We set limits & if we inforce them & stick with them, that is when they become understood & respected.

I guess I was lucky & wasn't hit as a child other than maybe a couple of times. It never hurt anything more than my pride. I was taught respect though...it was always yes/no sir, maam. If I forgot, it wasn't a slap.....just a "what was that?" response...it was expected & that was just the way it was....no arguing no discussion....it just was. There were many times I would imagine what parents that I might respect more would be like, but we have the parents we are given just like they are stuck with us as their chidren...gotta make the best out of what we have.

Of course, being an only child, people would immediately think of me as that spoiled only child until they got to know me.

I remember many times pulling away from my parents hugs & affection....it wasn't ok from the time I was young...way to independent & didn't want anyone to know they were my parents either.....how embarrassing. They kept trying & I kept pulling away....didn't like affection at all for most of my whole childhood/teenagehood.

Along the lines of hitting, I remember one time my Mother was wrestling with me for FUN. She pinned my arms down to the floor & for some reason, I panicked...I couldn't hit, but started screaming....don't know where the reaction came from....nothing existed in the past experiences....only in my mind. At least my Mother realized what was going on & we did discuss the situation & she ended up respecting my feelings.

I also had a problem with my daughter. I was home from work & completely exhausted....fell SOUND ASLEEP on the sofa. She was going to bed & came up to me dead asleep & kissed me on the cheek. I struck out to protect myself....from what? anything that could get me in my sleep. I felt so sorry for her because I didn't even remember striking out at her & later my husband told me she ended up clear across the room. I felt sooooo bad...I had to apologize so much to her...& how do you explain that you did something like that you didn't even remember or realize happened. I felt so bad & gave her as much love as I could, but it is hard to undo something like that when it really happens. I have always been dangerous when I am touched in my sleep.....even in the hospital, nurses or inhalation therapists have to not wake me up suddenly because I don't even remember what I do.....it is a scarry feeling for that to happen & I don't even know why I feel like I have to protect myself like that....nothing in my past that would have caused that either.

There are many things that "makes us....".what we are with the reactions we seem to have. It is important to be accepted for what we are, but we also need to respect others & accept them for what they are too. We can have respect for others & still have reactions that just don't seem to make any sense. Doesn't excuse them away when they hurt someone though....we are still responsible to those we hurt because of our actions....just part of life too.

Debbie