[Turquesa]

I have never had much influence on people. I have never been a leader. But I am a pre-K teacher and I should make the children follow my instructions. Kids like me and some even love me, I plan exciting, interesting and very creative lesson plans, I have a BS in child development and graduated with honors. However, the children don't listen to me. I repeat the same instruction over and over and it is as if I am just moving my mouth. I have to approach the child and hold his hand and say "It's time to eat lunch, come sit at the table" or "We take care of our toys, pls don't step on them" etc. I rely on my co-teacher for the discipline because she has a strong voice and authority so the children listen to her inmediately. Things are so bad that I have thought I am not cut out for this profession, I am a failure, because if I can't discipline a classroom of 15 chldren how am I going to teach them if they behave like a bunch of cave-children? How am I going to keep them safe if they fight, climb, throw things, etc and they don't do what I say? It is depressing, so many years invested in my education and I feel handicap. Sometimes I have felt as if I am afraid of being mean to the children, or too harsh, or hurt their feelings. I feel sorry to get mad at them. Or maybe I want to be liked and loved by them?? I didn't grow up with discipline. My parents where a mix of Indiference, neglect, permissiveness, rejection and aggression. We were alone a lot. Any suggestions?

Hello, Turquesa. It appears you are the good cop in the good cop/bad cop scenario. My thought is to talk to your co-teacher about how she goes about disciplining. Perhaps you need some consequences for those who will not heed you?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&s...&aqi=&aql=&oq=

Good luck.

[Perna]

They're young children; they haven't learned to follow yet, ARE cave children still I like The Byzantine's good cop/bad cop scenario and, related, was going to ask, if the co-teacher is so good at discipline (better than you allegedly) then how come they ever misbehave again?

Often some children have to be shown, bodily; they aren't very good at words and their meanings yet; think about it, they don't read/write, many, if you had them driving a car, wouldn't stop at the Stop sign :-) Is the Stop sign not a good/direct instruction?

I don't know how many years you have been teaching but I'm sure the first 5-20 years are very educational for the teacher as well! You have never had to instruct/lead a group of children yet, how should you be able to without having practiced? You don't expect the children to know how to do something before you teach them do you? You are learning too, give yourself a break. It's like parenting; how to "teach" is not the same as how to "lead". You were taught lessons in school about teaching but not how to emotionally lead the children. I think children respond well to sound; maybe you can clap your hands before you make an announcement or use a triangle or bells to signal story time?

I would think about leaders you enjoy following and see if you can figure out how they make you feel like following? If it's lunch time, get everyone's attention by calling out, "Who wants lunch now, raise your hand!" That will get all the children close to being on the same page, paying attention to what is going on around them and that it's lunchtime? Whether they raise their hand or not won't be important to you, just their looking up or seeing their friends stopping their play and hinting to those not paying attention that they should is what you're looking for. Then you can give the next instruction ("everyone to the lunch table") or deal with the next "problem" (the kid that wants to keep playing :-) There will always be some children marching to their own drummer or defiant or just not able to be on the same page as anyone. It's not "wrong" to jolly children along to get them going in the same direction as you want them to; think of young ducklings following their mother?

[Turquesa]

I like your comment and yes, that's how it feels sometime. I was thinking about asking my co-teacher for her input since she sees me interacting with the children everyday. I am sure her comments will be valuable, also ask her to couch me in that area. Thank you for your advice.

[Turquesa]

The kids "misbehave" by climbing on the furniture, throwing toys accross the room, hit others, mess up the materials and not play with them, and refusing to follow the routines. I have been teaching for a couple of years or so, but my co-teacher has been teaching for 15 years. You are right when you say that about sound, today I had the control while we were waiting for lunch, my co-teacher was out, I sang their favorite songs and used more gestures; the little cave-kids listened!! and for a while. It was a great feeling When I wrote my post I wasn't feeling good because one of the children that has increasingly dissobeying me, stuck his tong out to me, and another child on the same path yelled No! and attempted to throw a toy to me. Even though that is expected behavior from children, it got me because they never do that to my co-teacher and it was just one more evidence of my inability to make myself heard! There is one little kid that is no angel but responds very well to positive discipline and loving care. Unfortunatelly, he is one of the few, I am going to have to adjust my methods according to the child at hand I guess. Well thanks for your input. The ducklings picture is adorable.