[SisterTroubles]

My sister was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder this January. I feel so bad for her. She lost her home, husband, and five kids before she was diagnosed. Since she was in a behavioral institute I visited her every day (40 minutes away) bought her clothes and make-up. When she was released she stayed with me for a little bit. During that time she would go shopping with me and I felt as if I had another child with me begging for things in the store. I could never tell her no. She is now staying in a free apartment, I buy her meds (she stopped taking the anit-psychotic), pay for doctor appointments, give her cash, food, cigarettes, rides (I live an hour away) filed for SSI disability for her and assistance. Got her a public defender during her probation violation hearing. Paid the start-up cost ($110) for the ankle monitor (instead of jail) and was going to pay for the landline (phone required for ankle monitor) but she stole from me. This is not the first thing she just takes from my family. She has only been out 20 days. She does not talk to me like we use to, I understand that. What I don't understand is the times I am driving her back home late at night (at her request) and she ignores me, turns the portable Cd player loud,(that I bought her, cause she said it would help) rolls her eyes or pretends not to hear me. When I ask that she does not do certain things (like smoke outside of the truck with the door open, while my daughter and I are waiting) or flick ashes on the garage floor, she ignores me and continues.
I am trying to be understanding and compassionate, but I don't know what is part of the illness or just bad behavior. A family member tried giving me a MP3 player and she took that also saying the portable CD player I bought her was junk.
If there is no phone by the beginning of next month she will spend the 30 days in jail. I don't want that to happen, but I am trying to justify that the money and stuff she took would have paid for the phone. I feel there is no effort on her part, not even a tiny bit. By the way she does not help around the house while she stays here, sleeps alot. I think that is part of the disorder.
I feel I need advice from someone with this disorder rather than other family members. My family and I are a one income home. We budget, save and are careful. I washed her clothes while she stayed here and I couldn't help to notice how much she had compared to my own closet. And that was only part of the stuff we gathered from her ex-husbands house.
Help before I become too angry. I love her so much.
Am I being taken advantage of, or should I keep helping? This is causing great tension between my husband and I.

[Omers]

I don't know much about scitzoaffective disorder. My experience with other mental health issues suggests that if your sister is not ready to get better yet your efforts may not get the results you are looking for. She needs to find a reason within herself to get better. You may also want to check out the care givers forum.